Bowling Green’s baseball coach Doug Merrill has traveled the country speaking out against

Bowling Green’s baseball coach Doug Merrill has traveled the country speaking out against suicide.

By JOE SCALZO

Vindicator sports staff

Doug Merrill’s story starts when he was 11 years old and a family friend committed suicide.

“I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to end their own life,” he said. “It was the first time I ever dealt with it and it was confusing to me.”

Five years later, one of his best friends since kindergarten ended his life.

Nine days after that, his girlfriend of 21‚Ñ2 years spent nearly 90 minutes one night talking to Merrill. Twenty minutes later, she hung herself.

A year later, another of Merrill’s classmates shot herself with a .22 caliber pistol. She survived.

After graduating from Bowling Green University, Merrill was hired as a teacher and head baseball coach at Bowling Green High School.

Over the last five years, three of his players and two more students committed suicide.

The first player hanged himself in his garage 25 minutes after getting sent home from practice for using chewing tobacco.

The second struggled with personal issues, but even after several people tried to reach out to him, it wasn’t enough. He drove his car over the state line, mixed fertilizer and Mountain Dew and ended his life.

The third player got in trouble just before school started one morning, went into the bathroom, took his shoelaces out of his shoes and hung himself.

“It’s been an issue that’s really followed me for the better part of my life,” said Merrill. “Mine is certainly an unfortunate story and it’s one I wish I didn’t have to tell.

“But I can’t act like it didn’t happen.”

So Merrill decided to write a book, hoping his own experiences could serve as an encouragement to those struggling with depression, and a gateway to recovery.

“One of my main goals is to drop the stigma that comes with mental illness,” he said. “I believe this has been my purpose.”

Over the last few years he’s traveled the country speaking to students, teachers, coaches and psychologists about the warning signs of suicide. On Friday, he’ll address area coaches as the keynote speaker for the “Fighting the Demons” workshop at Youngstown State University.

Although suicide is not a new problem — there are approximately 12 youth suicides every day in the United States — it’s an often-overlooked one with athletes, who too often view personal issues as weakness and, consequently, are reluctant to seek help.

“You look at sterotypical ‘macho sports’ — football, basketball, baseball and I’d certainly include hockey — and they’re certainly a group you don’t expect to talk about depression,” said Merrill. “I’d go so far as expanding to males in general.

“With the economy being what it is, you see people lose jobs and homes and they act out in marital issues with violence instead of finding the proper help.”

Last September, Cavs forward Delonte West garnered headlines when he admitted he’s battled with depression his whole life, a rare admission by a high-profile athlete.

With the workshop, Merrill hopes to shed light on depression so that coaches can identify the warning signs and steer athletes toward help.

“We are not trained counselors,” said Merrill, referring to coaches. “What I’m trying to show them things to look for so maybe a player in trouble can get help.”

Warren JFK softball coach Joe Sylvester, who is the executive director at Turning Point Counseling Services, has helped spread the word about the workshop and will give a 15-minute slide presentation. The United Way and the Help Hotline Crisis Center are also involved.

“Coaches are many times the only adult role model for these youth,” said Duane Piccirilli, chief executive officer of the Help Hotline Crisis Center. “Knowing the warning signs may save someone’s life.

“Coaches act as gatekeepers and when youth confide to them, they need to know how to react.”

Sylvester believes many athletes struggle with the weight of expectations, both from themselves and from coaches and parents, and sometimes aren’t equipped to deal with failure.

“It’s tough,” he said. “There’s so much pressure on kids now. My role is to talk to coaches since I’m a coach and aid them in getting help if they see signs and symptoms of kids harming themselves or even committing suicide.”

Added Mooney girls basketball coach Jack Bermann, “Athletes and teenagers both think they’re invincible. We know they’re not.”

Bermann, one of the coaches who plans to attend the workshop, has never had a player deal with depression (“Knock on wood,” he said), but wants to be prepared in case it happens.

“This is not something they cover at every three-year sports medicine clinic,” he said. “Nike and Reebok and Adidas don’t talk about this at their coaches clinic.

“Teachers know the warning signs and we as coaches are with them [students] as much as they are. It’s like CPR training — you need to know it and hope you never have to use it.”

The workshop will include welcome remarks from YSU football coach Jon Heacock and a taped message from Ohio State coach Jim Tressel.

“Suicide is the third-leading cause of death among young people so it is a very serious issue,” said Heacock. “As a department staff, our day-to-day dealings with student-athletes places all of us in critical and possible life-saving situations.”

The registration deadline was May 1 and Sylvester said the response has been tremendous.

“My understanding is we’ll have to turn people away,” he said.

Those who can’t attend can still read Merrill’s book or visit his Web site, www.coachmerrill.com.

Merrill recently resigned his teaching position and will stop coaching after the spring season so he can devote his time to speaking and traveling.

Beginning Oct. 4, he plans to run a half-marathon every day for six months, traveling from Boston to Key West, Fla.

He hopes to raise $25 million for his foundation — all the book profits go to the foundation — and wants to spread the message of staying fit, healthy and positive.

“When we’re in good physical condition, we feel better and we think more clearly,” he said. “When we’re setting goals, we’re moving in a positive direction.”

In 1991, Merrill was in a car wreck that should have killed him. Afterward, he struggled with questions about his own existence.

“I kept asking, ‘Why am I here?’ ” he said. “It finally hit me. It doesn’t make any difference why. The fact is, I am here.

“And as long as I’m here, I’m going to do the best I can to use the life I’ve been given.”

scalzo@vindy.com