Jonas Brothers play it safe in sitcom

By NEAL JUSTIN

“Jonas,” which premieres at 8 tonight on the Disney Channel, is unlikely to trigger a mass epidemic of fainting, but it gingerly polishes the squeaky-clean image of the world’s most-celebrated boy band, while giving the trio a chance to tap into their inner Monkees.

“We’re so blessed to do this because we know we are living so many people’s dreams,” said Kevin, the oldest brother at the ripe age of 21, in an interview earlier this year.

“The atmosphere on set is so exciting because we know the scripts are going to be amazing and fun. We’re in the midst of one right now, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life.”

Those tone-deaf to the Jonas’ hummable ditties and blind to their puppy-dog looks are unlikely to be converted by the sitcom, in which Kevin, Joe and Nick play pop stars struggling to lead a semi- normal life.

Tonight’s episode mixes in sight gags (Velcro pants stuck to a chair), potential catch phrases (“Boom goes the dynamite!”), romance (Nick falls for an angelic schoolmate whose face could sell Ivory soap) and inside, wink-wink jokes (Nick reminds his crush that the teen magazines have dubbed him the serious one). Throw in a couple of new musical numbers, and you have correctly followed the Disney formula: safe, stupid fun.

Executive producer Michael Curtis lets slip that the original concept had the group playing spies, but during the development process, the band got too big to imagine the boys as anything but thinly veiled versions of themselves.

It’s unfortunate that Curtis didn’t make a stronger attempt to buck reality.

Last year’s Disney movie “Camp Rock” proved that all three have acting chops, most notably Nick, who might even be capable of playing the kind of self-loathing characters that teenagers used to swoon over, back when James Dean was the epitome of cool.

But Disney’s Fantasyland has no tolerance for motorcycles and cigarettes. The most rebellious thing about “Jonas” is that the family resides in vamped-out digs with fire poles, a drum set hovering over Nick’s bed and an endless supply of fresh fruit.

Most of the first episode takes place at some sort of private school that appears to be devoid of teachers or even classrooms, as the students spend nearly all their time in the candy-colored hallways.

Of course, the show keeps coming back to the ultimate dream: the opportunity to share space with the Jonas Brothers. This desire is personified in the character of Macy Misa, a squealing, clothes-ripping classmate played to the hilt by Nicole Gale Anderson.

As expected, the boys treat her stalkerlike behavior with kid gloves. (The brothers come off as so pious that there doesn’t seem to be anything remotely creepy about a 21-year-old roaming the halls of a high school.)