Wildcat's offers night of arresting humor

Comedian Cop

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New Waterford Police Chief Dan Haueter

By John Benson

For more than a decade, Mike Armstrong has been known simply as the ex-cop comedian.

Granted, it’s the rare occasion where a man of the law trades in his badge for a mic stand, but that’s exactly the career strategy Armstrong, a former police officer in Kentucky, pursued with his confident persona and arresting jokes.

“I always say I’ve been doing comedy for 18 years and getting paid for 10,” said Armstrong, calling from the Bluegrass State. “I was working off-duty at a mall and was kind of making fun of people, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘I just opened up a comedy club here in Louisville and you ought to come down and do open mic. You’re pretty funny.’

“So I went and did five minutes against some amateurs and professionals. It was my first night, and I won $300 because the audience picked the winner, and they picked me. “

While still on the force, Armstrong the comedian rose through the ranks, eventually landing gigs on Showtime and The Nashville Network.

However, it wasn’t too long before the police department — notoriously known for its lack of a sense of humor — made him choose a career. After consulting his wife, Armstrong picked comedy, but things weren’t easy at first.

As he was contemplating a return to the police department, fate had other ideas. In fact, it wasn’t until he hooked up with the syndicated “The Bob and Tom Show” radio show (heard locally weekday mornings on WNCD-93.3 FM) that Armstrong took off without looking back. Then again, that’s not really true, because a good amount of his current set is dedicated to retelling his hilarious experiences as a policeman.

“Like on the expressway where it says ‘Authorized Vehicles Only,’ I used to pull behind people, turn on my lights and watch them cringe, and then on my microphone I’d say, ‘I authorize you,’” Armstrong laughed. “I used to do stuff like that all of the time. I did my job but always tried to make it funny.

“In my act I talk about how stupid people are. This is true: I pulled over a guy drunk in a camper one time, and he gets out and said, ‘You can’t arrest me, I’m already home.’ People are dumb, and that’s the beauty of it all. Another true story — I picked up a guy who fit the description of a purse snatcher. So I put him in the backseat of my car and said, ‘We’re going over for identification.’ Well, when we pulled up, he leaned over the seat and said, ‘Yeah, that’s her.’ I said, ‘She’s supposed to identify you, you idiot.’”

Armstrong, who returns to the Youngstown area for shows Friday and Saturday at Wildcat’s Comedy Club, said his comedy remains popular with all types of audiences for one simple reason.

“I don’t do any political material; I don’t get on a soapbox,” Armstrong said. “There’s no message in my jokes at all. Everybody walks away happy. That’s why I’m popular, because everyone knows I’m having as much fun as they are.”

Armstrong won’t be the only one with a law enforcement background on the stage during his Wildcat’s stint. Dan Haueter, chief of the New Waterford police department, will be the opening act.