Engagement causes attack by her fianc ’s family

Dear Annie: I am disgusted. My fianc , “Kirk,” and I have a problem with his mother and siblings. I got along fine with them until we became engaged, and all of a sudden it was like someone flipped a switch. His mother began e-mailing and calling me when she was incredibly drunk, telling me I need to “back off” from her family. His teenage sisters started a MySpace page that included stories about me using drugs and insinuated that I have several STDs. I work with children and my employer found this page. I was suspended without pay.

Kirk’s mother sent out a family newsletter shortly after our wedding invitations were mailed, detailing what a terrible person I am, labeling me an addict and hinting that I’m incredibly promiscuous. Ladies, this letter went out to over 50 family members and most of our mutual friends.

Kirk’s brothers had the same problem when they got engaged. His sister-in-law recently offered us the help of a lawyer who did pro bono work for them when his family harassed them.

Kirk and I are happy and very much in love, but this has put a terrible strain on us. I don’t want to bring a libel suit against his family, but Kirk thinks it’s the best thing to do. I just want this to stop. Is pressing charges really our only option? Harassed Bride

Dear Bride: Nice family you’re marrying into. Did you get your job back? If not, a lawsuit may be the only way to reclaim your reputation. Kirk should talk to his family and tell them this nonsense absolutely has to stop or there will be legal repercussions, as well as an estrangement. He should also suggest that his mother see a therapist immediately. She sounds mentally ill.

Dear Annie: In our small company, the restroom door is close enough to hear more than one wants. Our company manager cannot visit the men’s room without talking on his cell phone, but that’s beside the point. He is always talking and never washes his hands. I find this gross, unsanitary and unacceptable. There are signs inside the bathrooms asking everyone to wash their hands.

Our supervisor says we don’t need to worry about cleanliness since we don’t handle food. What is wrong with these people? Frequent hand washing has been shown to be effective in killing germs. I put up a poster about the benefits of hand washing, and the supervisor ripped it down and threw it away. I cringe every time I touch a doorknob and am doing my best to stay healthy as we head into cold and flu season. The company has a dim view of employees calling in sick. What can I do? Grossed Out Clean Freak

Dear Grossed Out: You can tell your supervisor that fewer employees will get sick if it is official company policy to wash one’s hands after using the restroom, but he sounds too stubborn to care. You can go over his head, but since you can’t force others to cooperate, the best you can do is wash your own hands thoroughly with soap and water to minimize your susceptibility, and use paper towels to open the doors.

Dear Annie: “Complaining in Tennessee” was receiving unsolicited and unwanted note cards, note pads, etc., in order to get donations in return. You said “use what you want and recycle the rest.”

If people have unwanted note cards, calendars, pretty stickers, etc., I recommend donating them to their local homeless shelter, soup kitchen or other group dealing with those in need. At the soup kitchen where I volunteer, our guests are always very happy to find these items displayed for them to take and use. South Bend, Ind.

Dear South Bend: Fabulous idea! The same goes for those hotel extras like small bottles of shampoo and hand lotion. They are greatly appreciated.

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