Strickland’s school funding plan unclear

COLUMBUS — It was about three hours into a four-hour press “briefing” on Gov. Ted Strickland’s proposed education/school funding reform package when veteran Statehouse reporter Bill Cohen asked the question.

Since the governor unveiled his proposal during his State of the State speech late last month, more than one administration official has described the setup as “easy to understand” compared to the present convoluted funding mechanisms.

Which is what prompted Cohen to ask the question: Are you kidding?

OK, his question wasn’t that blunt, but the message was clear. How can the Strickland administration, with a straight face, spend hours and hours describing this “easy to understand” funding and reform proposal and still leave average citizens and simple-minded reporters (myself included) scratching their heads about what it all means?

Part of the problem is the gobbledygook that these politicians and bureaucrats are spewing.

When’s the last time your kid came up to you and said, “Dad, I think we need to double down and do some deeper dives on my homework.”

How often does that guy serving your burger and fries say, “Thank you for collaborating on this partnership. I hope you find your meal bold, transparent and full of creativity.”

And Father Kovac has never, ever called me on the phone and offered, “Lets discourse on your negative growth opportunities.”

Corporate-speak

Never happens, because average Ohioans don’t talk that way. Most are too busy scrounging change from couch cushions to make ends meet than to waste time a lot of time learning corporate-speak.

I listened to the governor’s State of the State speech, and in the last week I sat through upward of six hours of presentations on the executive budget and its impact on schools.

Here’s what I think I know, at this point: The state is going to pay schools what they need to provide an adequate education for all youth, regardless of where they live or their economic circumstances.

The powers that be, using reputable research and studies, have determined how many superintendents, principals, teachers, tutors, aides and so forth it will take to accomplish that, based on the size of each school.

Local districts that want to do more — say, teach all of their students Mandarin Chinese — will have to go to the ballot and seek citizen support.

Also, the state will establish standards for how schools operate and will keep close tabs on how they spend public funds. Districts and teachers that aren’t meeting those standards will get the boot.

That’s the gist. There’s a lot more about phantom revenue and charge-offs and conversion levies, which will likely end up smacking us all in the pocketbook in years to come.

Which could be considered a negative growth opportunity.

X Marc Kovac is The Vindicator’s Statehouse correspondent. E-mail him at mkovac@dixcom.com.