Sarkozy’s idea for newspapers is intriguing

By KEVIN HORRIGAN

“French President Nicolas Sarkozy today announced $786 million in emergency aid for his country’s troubled newspaper industry and declared that every 18-year-old in France would get a year’s free subscription to the paper of their choice to boost reading habits.”

— The Guardian, Jan. 23

A couple of years ago I gave away an old charcoal barbecue pit to my next-door neighbor, a bright young man who was a Ph.D. candidate in biochemistry or neurological science or something else I couldn’t understand.

As a bonus, I told him, I would throw in a bag of Kingsford and a charcoal chimney. All he had to do was put the charcoal in the top, stuff a sheet of newspaper in the bottom, light it and — voila! — in 10 minutes the charcoal would be ready to go.

“Great,” he said. “Now all I have to do is find some newspaper.”

This was the first time I realized my industry might be in for some hard times. If this kid, whose IQ probably was north of 150 and who could make a computer sit up and spit nickels, didn’t know where to find a newspaper — even one he could burn up so he could grill hot dogs — I was in real trouble.

So now comes French President Nicolas Sarkozy with a solution: Give every 18-year-old a free subscription to a newspaper. The French economy is roughly one-seventh the size of the U.S. economy, so let’s see: If the United States were to match the French newspaper bailout, we’d be in for $5.5 billion in federal cash.

Freedom of press

Unfortunately, we can’t take it. Freedom of the press and all that. If we took money from Congress, we might have to stop beating up on Congress. What fun would that be?

As far as I can tell, newspapers are one of the few industries in the United States not lined up with hands out. Every day the in-box fills up with press releases like this one, from the American Forest and Paper Association:

“The wood and paper products industries are America’s original green jobs: Our companies responsibly use renewable materials to create products that store carbon, and we produce more renewable energy than any other sector of the economy in the process.

“The forestry, wood, and paper sector has shed 14 percent of its employees in the last two years. Retaining the 1.1 million jobs in wood and paper production should be a top priority in a stimulus bill.”

Last week, the American Society of Civil Engineers issued a report that said the nation’s infrastructure (highways, bridges, sewers, etc.) needs $12 trillion worth of work. No doubt they are correct, and it’s probably just a coincidence, but civil engineers make a lot of money designing highways, bridges and sewers.

Similarly, the trucking industry says bigger trucks (which crunch up all those highways and bridges) could help stimulate the economy. The rent-to-own industry reports that if more people rented high-end electronics, it would help the economy (me to wife: “Sure I bought a 57-inch Japanese-made plasma TV, but it’s good for America”).

Also good for America: Paying more for electricity. After the Missouri Public Service Commission approved a $162 million rate hike for AmerenUE recently, Thomas Voss, the firm’s CEO, explained, “We recognize that in today’s difficult economy no one wants to pay higher electric rates, but maintaining reliable electric service will be critical to any economic recovery.”

My personal favorite bailout plea came from National Public Radio, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and the Public Broadcasting System, which asked the Obama administration for $550 million in help. How does underwriting Bill McClellan on “Donnybrook” stimulate the economy?

Porn industry

In early January, noted pornographers Larry Flynt and Joe Francis issued a press release calling for a $5 billion bailout for the porn industry. It was mostly a publicity stunt — nobody in Congress is that liberal — but porn, too, is hurting.

“There are a lot of amateurs in the online industry, which is growing rapidly, and they don’t charge for it,” a spokesman for the Los Angeles County Economic Development Corp. told MSNBC. “The industry is really seeing a change in their business model.”

Competition from amateurs who don’t charge for it. Boy, I know how they feel. In France, they would give every 18-year-old a free subscription.

X Kevin Horrigan is a columnist for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.