Girlfriend’s advances going unfulfilled

Q. I’m a 26-year-old female in a committed relationship with a man I am deeply in love with and have been for two years. I’ve always had a healthy sex drive, but now I’m concerned.

In the beginning, we had a very active and passionate sex life, but as time goes by he seems less and less interested. For a while I think he had sex with me just to keep me happy, and now he ignores my advances. I know we won’t have sex several times a day like we did in the beginning, but I don’t know why we can’t do it several times a week.

I used to send him sexy text messages throughout the day so that when he got home he’d be excited. Now if I do that, he doesn’t respond. I’ve tried to spice things up — toys, videos, you name it. I’ve tried it all, but nothing works.

Sex is one thing I truly enjoy. Having good sex relaxes me, relieves stress and allows me to sleep through the night, which I can’t do on my own.

He’s gained a lot of weight, but he’s a really great guy, and I have no desire to look elsewhere. Talking doesn’t work, as he ignores my questions. I don’t know what to do.

A. Many people mistakenly believe that men always have stronger sex drives than women. But according to Irwin Goldstein, M.D., editor in chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine, up to one-fourth of women have more interest in sex than their male partners.

Counseling for the two of you is the best place to start. Even if he is reluctant, you should seek guidance on your own. Your partner also should have his hormone levels checked, since low levels of testosterone are associated with being overweight and can reduce libido.

Sex expert Dr. Ruth Westheimer told us that when couples have different levels of interest, a partner can help the other achieve orgasm, even if he isn’t in the mood for intercourse.

We interviewed both experts on our radio show. For an hourlong CD on this topic, please send $12.99 to: Graedons’ People’s Pharmacy (Dept. CD-680), P.O. Box 52027, Durham, NC 27717-2027. Show No. 680 also can be ordered online from www.peoplespharmacy.com.

Q. One of your readers asked for advice regarding constipation caused by Fosamax and Lipitor. I was surprised you did not mention taking Metamucil to help with constipation.

I have had to follow that regimen for more than 30 years, taking 3 teaspoonfuls daily. Please pass this information on.

A. Psyllium, the active ingredient in Metamucil and similar products, works well to counteract constipation. It also can help lower cholesterol. Psyllium must not be taken at the same time as Fosamax or Lipitor, however. It might interfere with the absorption and thus the effectiveness of these drugs.

Q. You ran a story about lisinopril causing cough. I had the same experience. My regular doctor referred me to an audiologist, who diagnosed acid reflux. I then went to an ears, nose and throat doctor who had no suggestions. Finally, I saw an allergist, who immediately took me off lisinopril and replaced it with Cozaar. Cough gone!

A. Lisinopril is an ACE inhibitor. Although this type of blood pressure medicine works well, it can cause a relentless cough that does not respond to cough medicine. Cozaar is a different type of blood pressure pill called an ARB (angiotensin-renin blocker). ARBs are much less likely to cause chronic cough.

XIn their column, Joe and Teresa Graedon answer letters from readers. Write to them in care of The Vindicator or e-mail them via their Web site: www.PeoplesPharmacy.com. Their newest book is “Favorite Home Remedies From The People’s Pharmacy.”

2009 King Features Syndicate Inc.