Should teen lose driving privileges?

Dear Annie: My fianc , “Tom,” has a 17-year-old daughter, “Laura.” She’s had her driver’s license for six months. During the three years Tom and I have been together, there have been a lot of behavior issues with Laura. She’s disrespectful and unruly, and she was suspended for part of the school year.

Because of this, I questioned the decision her parents made to allow her to get her license. Laura totaled the first car they bought her and has received two speeding tickets in the second. Still, Tom and his ex insist that Laura be allowed to keep driving, and they’re going with her to a court hearing over her last speeding ticket to try to have the penalty reduced.

I’ve suggested to Tom that Laura may simply not be mature enough to be a safe driver, and that they should consider taking her driving privileges away. He says I worry too much, and since she has a part-time job and plays sports, it’s not practical for them to chauffeur her everywhere. She also takes her younger brother to his practices. I don’t believe these are good excuses to put herself, her passengers and others in danger.

I don’t want to be the wicked soon-to-be stepmother. I simply don’t want anything horrible to happen. Are there any statistics to bolster my argument? Worried in Pennsylvania

Dear Worried: According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for teens, and 16-year-olds have the highest crash rates. They are three times more likely to die in a crash, and the chance of driver death increases with each additional passenger. Drivers with one prior crash have a subsequent crash rate 1.5 times higher.

These statistics may not help you, however, if Laura’s parents find it too inconvenient to take away the keys. At the very least, suggest to your fianc that Laura enroll in a driver safety class.

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years and have never liked the engagement ring he surprised me with. It has a small diamond and is a cheap ring. This is the symbol of his love that I have to look at every day.

Even though I have told him I’d like a bigger stone, he says “maybe someday” and nothing happens. My husband is not materialistic and neither am I, but I believe I am classy and enjoy the finer things in life. We are in our early 50s and otherwise happily married, and we both have good jobs and a comfortable life. What’s a girl to do? Ring-a-Ding

Dear Ring: You do sound a little materialistic, dearie. That inexpensive ring may have been the best your husband could afford at the time. It’s possible he is saving a new ring for your 25th wedding anniversary, but if not, nothing is stopping you from getting the stone of your dreams on your own. There’s no reason to be frustrated waiting for him to purchase it for you.

Dear Annie: This is for “Mark,” who asked if he should continue sending Christmas cards to those who don’t reciprocate.

It doesn’t matter that you are only in touch with these people once a year. Your card may be the highlight of their Christmas season. And some might not respond because they cannot afford a card or a stamp. If this gesture makes you feel good and you want to do it, then send as many cards as you like. I do the same.

Many times I will run into one of these friends and they will tell me that getting my card is what they look forward to each year.

So keep up the good work, Mark. You never know what a blessing you might be to someone in their darkest hour. The Christmas Card Lady of Memphis

• E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox‚Ñ¢, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

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