Speaker brings message for men

By Elise Franco

An end to domestic violence has to start with men, a community organizer said.

YOUNGSTOWN — To end violence against women, all men must make themselves accountable, said Tony Porter, co-founder of A Call To Men.

Porter, a community organizer from Charlotte, N.C., helped co-found the organization that teaches men how they can be a part of the solution.

He spoke to a group of about 25 local men Tuesday at the Arlington Heights Recreation Center on Park Avenue on the city’s North Side.

“The focus of the national organization is on challenging and redefining some aspects of manhood that tend to trip us up,” Porter said. “We want to come together, share our philosophies and views and help take that message to young men in our communities.”

Porter said the organization, in existence for about 12 years, aims to educate men about why the violence occurs. He said it’s not just men being violent toward women, but men being violent toward men as well.

“While we are good men, there are things we do to support that culture of violence,” he said. “My job, plain and simple, is to energize the men in this room.”

Porter asked the men to think about whether they would feel comfortable leaving their children to be looked after by at 16-year-old boy as opposed to a girl of the same age.

More than half the room said they wouldn’t, so he asked them to think about why.

“Collectively, as men, what is it about men that we don’t trust the very thing we created?” Porter asked. “For me, it’s like, I don’t want to take a chance on nobody.”

One thing Porter said they can do to end the cycle of violence include stepping out of normal, socially acceptable roles men play.

“There’s this box that we call ‘the man box,’” he said. “It says men need to be that and need to be this, and anything less is where men tend to put women.

“We need to get away from that thinking, and step out of that box.”

David Lomax, a member of the organization’s local chapter and detective sergeant for the Youngstown Police Department, said he’s happy to see the local membership grow.

Only seven people attended the chapter’s first meeting last October, he said. After Tuesday’s gathering, he expects the number to triple. That may be a result of the ideals of men in the community coming in line with the ideals of the organization, he speculated.

“We think, primarily, ending violence against women is a man’s responsibility,” he said.

Tito Brown, Youngstown’s 3rd Ward councilman, said having the group in the area is vital.

“The people I serve as an elected official are the victims of domestic violence,” he said. “This program is about preserving families, and in turn preserving our communities.”

Brown said involving himself in the organization is also important.

“It’s another piece of the puzzle that I need to be a part of,” he said. “If you look at the victims’ faces, some are kids and mothers, and some are fathers, too.”

efranco@vindy.com