FASHION Q&A

Q. A couple with whom my husband and I have been close friends for almost 10 years have decided to get married. It will be the second marriage for them both, a small event with just close family and friends in attendance. The early-evening ceremony and reception will be in an upscale resort, and the invitation specifies “cocktail attire.” My husband refuses. He says he retired from wearing a suit and tie when he retired from his job. He says he always dresses casually when we go out with this couple, and they wouldn’t expect anything different at their wedding. I will be mortified if he shows up in his usual khaki pants and golf shirt. He has beautiful suits in his closet. They still fit. How do I persuade him to dress up for this wedding?

A. The couple has specified “cocktail attire” on their invitations for a reason: They want the men to wear suits and the women to choose cocktail dresses or suits, a signal that this is a special, dress-up event. To ignore their request is to disrespect the couple and the occasion. A true friend of 10 years would honor their wishes.

Point out to your husband — we’ll call him Bubba — that the invitation does not read “cocktail attire, except for Bubba.”

If he plans to attend the wedding, the least he can do in return is don a suit and tie for a few hours. He can even lose the tie and suit jacket once the actual marriage ceremony is over.

If those arguments don’t persuade him to lose the khakis and golf shirt for one evening, Bubba should stay home.

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