The bare truth: Vacation plans bother her

Dear Annie: For the past 20 years, we have vacationed with another family. Now that all our kids are in college, we decided to take a couples-only trip this winter. We all agreed to go to a beach resort.

Our friends read about nude resorts on The New York Times Web page and decided that’s where we should go. I have no problem being naked in private. My husband and I frequently sleep in the nude, and before we had kids, we found it exhilarating to skinny dip in a secluded pond. I have even done housework in the nude on hot days when I was alone. But I’ve never been nude in front of others.

Our friends went to a nearby lake where nude bathing is allowed and enjoyed it a lot, hence their desire to go to a nude resort. They assure us the resort is clothing optional, so we don’t have to undress if we feel uncomfortable. They assume we will feel totally comfortable au naturel once we are surrounded by other naked people.

My husband is willing to try it, but I just can’t imagine being naked in front of strangers or even being clothed looking at naked people. We are both 50 and our bodies are not nubile. We were so looking forward to this joint vacation that I hate to give it up. I also hate being the only person objecting to it. Will I lose my inhibitions like they say, or will I likely be miserable? Austin, Texas

Dear Austin: Most people at nude resorts are not interested in showing off their bodies. They simply enjoy the feeling of going without clothing, meaning you will see quite a variety of bodies — most of which are a lot less nubile than you imagine. However, you should not feel forced to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Your friends’ suggestion to check out the nearby lake is a good one. It will allow you to see what you are getting into, without making a vacation commitment unless you want to.

Dear Annie: Nearly five years ago, my son (now 24) started dating a girl from our church. At least two nights a week, she and her older brother stop by our house after church to visit my son before going some 20 miles back to their home.

The first year, I would fix refreshments and visit with them before excusing myself. I was bothered by the fact that they had no manners and were not pleasant company. The girl has a whiny personality and a “pity poor me” attitude.

Now when I know they are coming, I go to another room and feel imprisoned until they leave. My son says he plans to break up with the girl, but has yet to do so. He isn’t financially able to get a place of his own, so that is not an option. Any advice? Aggravated in Alabama

Dear Alabama: If your son doesn’t find his backbone, this whiny girl could end up becoming your daughter-in-law. Please continue to be cordial. It might help if you could run errands instead of locking yourself in your bedroom, and suggest to your son that he occasionally meet his friends at church and entertain them elsewhere.

Dear Annie: I was very offended by “New Yorker’s” letter about loitering teenagers. I am 14 years old and found it extremely insulting to be compared to cockroaches. Talking about teenagers as if we are all alike is as silly as saying all senior citizens behave the same way or all middle-aged people like to eat the same foods. I wonder if “New Yorker” has forgotten what it was like when he was a teenager. Indignant in Montreal

Dear Indignant: We don’t think “New Yorker” intended to impugn all teenagers, only those who are maliciously disrespectful. Most teens are terrific citizens who care deeply about their environment and volunteer more than previous generations. We’re in your corner.

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