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This cop is some comedian
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New Waterford Police Chief and comedian, Dan Haueter
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Comedian, New Waterford Police Chief Dan Haueter
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This police chief performs his stand-up comedy this weekend at the Funny Farm.
NEW WATERFORD — So the police chief goes into the comedy club and:
A: Asks to see everyone’s ID.
B: Announces he’s Batman.
C: Tells a few jokes that can’t be printed in a family newspaper.
The answer is “C.”
Danny Haueter, the chief of the New Waterford Police Department since 1996, will be doing shows today through Saturday at the Funny Farm in Niles.
Haueter is well-known in the area for his Internet stings of adults trying to arrange sex with minors and programs to help parents monitor and protect their children while they are online. The chief, who is 36, and his wife, Peg, have a young daughter.
When he’s not at work, “I’m big into community theater,” he said Tuesday.
He’s done comedic and dramatic plays and is on the board of Salem Community Theatre. His interest in comedy grew out of his theater work.
He’s gone to some “open mike nights” as far away as Cuyahoga Falls, where fledgling comedians can give stand-up comedy a try.
Haueter said he went for a tryout at the Funny Farm in Niles and on July 9, won the competition.
And while the media often plays up stories about dumb criminals, Haueter said that in his act, “nothing is remotely tied to my job.”
When he performs, he changes his appearance by parting his hair in the middle, putting on glasses and wearing a white shirt.
The character, he said, is “uncouth and has no manners. Nothing will embarrass him.”
The chief said his act is “fairly clean,” while Tony Spano, the booking manager for the Funny Farm, described it as “semi-clean.”
Haueter said in his act, he hammers his fictitious parents.
That’s all for laughs, Haueter said, although Spano said he knew some comics who were working out on their parents for real during performances.
The chief said his parents, Allen and Cindy Haueter, enjoy coming to his shows.
Jokes range from religion to sexually transmitted diseases to a well- known Nevada brothel. But other jokes are clean and based on sharp observations of current events.
Haueter said, “At the theater, I can’t wait to go on stage.”
But he said he was initially scared to do stand-up humor.
It’s one thing to be on stage with other actors and rehearsed lines when something goes wrong, he said, and another to be standing all alone in front of a microphone.
He’s getting paid for this weekend’s work. Shows are at 8 p.m. today and Friday and 8 and 10 p.m. Saturday.
He said won’t be trying to do comedy full time since that would involve constant travel.
But Haueter may have a future in comedy.
Spano said the chief’s comedy persona “is a very interesting character. ... He comes across. He makes the show.”
wilkinson@vindy.com