“Insofar as we are concerned, both its description and its intent were that of a pirate ship.

“Insofar as we are concerned, both its description and its intent were that of a pirate ship. Only after we were fired upon did we fire. We fired in self-defense. There were gun-toting guys with RPGs on it.”

Commander Nirad Sinha

Indian navy spokesman, after it was discovered that the pirate “mother ship” sunk last week by the Indian navy was actually a Thai fishing trawler seized hours earlier by pirates.

“Not to spoil anything, but I think up here the appropriate words are ‘Yippee!”’

Commander Mike Fincke

Of the Space station, to Mission Control after astronauts finally ran a successful test on equipment that turns urine into drinking water.