Christmas: Too big to fail

Christmas: Too big to fail

Chicago Tribune: Every Who down in Whoville likes Christmas a lot, but the budgets to pay for the trappings are shot. And, no, we’re not going to write this entire piece in verse.

Retailers are bracing for a disappointing shopping season. Americans who are worried about losing their jobs, their homes and their life savings aren’t in the mood to line up for Nintendos. Employers have canceled Christmas parties and holiday bonuses. Shopping malls aren’t hiring seasonal workers. No, Virginia, there is not a Santa Claus. Maybe next year.

To riff on Dr. Seuss a little more: We have an idea. An awful idea! This page has a wonderful, awful idea!

You guessed it — a bailout. Taxpayers have already committed nearly a trillion dollars to saving mortgage monsters Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, insurance giant AIG and the entire banking industry. Why not underwrite a few thousand office parties while we’re at it? How about a modest economic stimulus package — say, a $25 gift card for every American?