Taking a stand against violence

By Sean Barron

Many boys are taught early that control of women is essential, a speaker said.

BOARDMAN — It was more than the useful information or the audience size at a conference about stopping family violence that caught Linda Baer’s attention: It was also the number of men in attendance.

“I’m glad to see the male turnout and appreciate the men sharing their feelings,” said Baer, legal advocate supervisor with Someplace Safe Domestic Violence Program in Trumbull County.

Baer was among victim advocates, law enforcement personnel and others to attend Saturday’s conference, titled “A Call to Men: Becoming Part of the Solution,” at the Holiday Inn, 7420 South Ave.

The program was sponsored by the Tri County Family Violence Prevention Coalition and funded by a grant from the Community Foundation of the Mahoning Valley. Its main purposes were to provide men with ways they can be part of efforts to stop violence against women and help them recognize attitudes and assumptions that contribute to or condone such violence.

Brad Smith said the four-hour seminar was a good way to get men together to help them explore positive ways to express themselves. Smith, a caseworker with the Mahoning County Children Services Board and a Youngstown State University student, added that mental health issues, the tough local economy and alcohol are causes of a lot of domestic-violence cases he sees.

The keynote speaker was Tony Porter, a community organizer and co-founder of A Call to Men, a 5-year-old national collaborative that focuses on men’s responsibilities for ending violence against women and ways they can be part of the solution.

Porter, of Charlotte, N.C., said he remembers when police often would merely “scold” someone accused of domestic violence before sending the person home. Women’s movements in the 1970s, however, led to perpetrators being held accountable more frequently, he noted.

Nevertheless, Porter continued, the incidence of domestic violence did not decrease, which pointed to the need to focus more on prevention and changing certain ingrained attitudes.

“The man in the box [concept] teaches men that women are here for our comfort, pleasure and our entertainment,” Porter said, referring to collective expectations and values many men have toward women.

Starting at a young age, many boys are told that control should be a central theme in how males treat women. Similarly, Porter explained, they are taught many traditional male roles such as not showing fear or weakness, being a protector and seeing women as objects and property.

Reinforcing such notions are countless movies and advertising images, as well as pornography, he noted.

Porter talked about what he called “the objectification of women,” citing as examples T-shirts and ads with demeaning slogans toward women. Fathers need to be honest with their young sons about such images, he advised, adding that objectification is a key ingredient that often leads to violence against women.

The program also featured a panel group made up of Baer; Detective Sgt. Delphine Baldwin-Casey of the Youngstown Police Department; and Malinda Gavins of the Sojourner House Domestic Violence Program.

The panel said that more young boys need positive male role models, and that verbal abuse from women does not justify physical violence against them.

One woman who asked that her name not be used said she endured 20 years of violence at the hands of her former husband, who at one point held a gun to her head, prompting her to escape. During part of that time, neighbors knew of the violence but never contacted authorities, partly because they assumed it was a private matter, she said.

“If you know something’s going on, at least call the police,” the woman urged. “If you hear it, call and report it.”