That time of the year, again

Sacramento Bee: Hey, you! Yeah, YOU!

Put down the pencil. Don’t touch that keyboard. Leave your computer just like it is. Now step away from your desk. Slowly. And keep your hands where we can see them.

Don’t give us that “What did I do?” look. We’ve seen it before too many times. We know what you’ve been doing, and so do you, scumbag. The evidence is right there for us and everybody else to see.

Look at your desk, Mr. Honest Citizen. You expect us to believe all those half-filled-in brackets belong to somebody else?

And what about all the sports sites listed on your Internet browser’s recent history? You’re gonna try to pin that on your cubicle-mate, right? And maybe your kid or your spouse or your brother-in-law signed you up for those e-mail alerts from BigMadnessPoolWinner.com, huh?

You think anybody will believe that stack of $10 bills is headed for deposit in the credit union? Yeah, sure. And the Easter Bunny starts at point guard for UCLA, too.

Jury pool

Save your breath, pal. Face it. You fought the law, and the law won. You’re goin’ down. Next pool you have anything to do with will be the jury pool at your trial.

We know what you’re thinking. Maybe Kevin Jeffries, your buddy in the California Legislature, will bail you out of this jam. Forget about it.

Yeah, he’s got a bill that would cancel the jail time for guys like you. But it has about as much chance of passing as Play-in Winner has of beating North Carolina.

Yeah, yeah, so everybody does it. So what? That doesn’t make it right. You think it’s OK for you and millions of other working stiffs to waste company resources on a scam like this? Think of the lost man-hours. Think of the inefficiency. You don’t see the Chinese spending time on this kind of crapola. No wonder they’re eating our lunch.

A deal? You got nothing to deal with. You’re what’s that? A lead-pipe cinch 15-seed over a 2-seed. Can’t happen. Still, you never know. Let’s see what you got. This might be your lucky day after all, punk.