Military mom copes Two sons in service keep Vienna Twp. woman on edge

By William K. Alcorn

‘Alive day’ is the way a mother describes the day her son was hurt in Iraq.

VIENNA — Beth Haddle got the call from Iraq at 6 a.m.

Like any parent, because of the early hour, she feared the news was not good.

Both of her sons, Army Sgt. Mark W. Haddle, 25, and Marine Sgt. Michael J. Haddle, 27, were in Iraq at the time, stationed within five miles of each other.

The call was from Michael, leading her to at first believe something had happened to Mark.

“I had been telling people that something bad was going to happen to my younger son,” said Beth, of Vienna Township. Their father is George Haddle of New Bedford, Pa.

But Michael was “talking weird and asking questions that didn’t make sense,” she said. She then realized he was hurt.

“I had a panic attack. I started asking him questions. I couldn’t stop. Can you see? ... Do you have all your arms and legs? ... Can I still be a grandmother? And then the connection was lost. I thought I was having a heart attack,” Beth said.

It was 45 minutes before Michael called back and she learned the extent of his injuries and that he would recover.

It was May 5, 2005. “I call it his ‘alive day,’” she said.

Michael, currently stationed in Bahrain, was wounded during his third tour in Iraq. His humvee was hit by a improvised explosive device (IED) while crossing a bridge. Shrapnel from the bomb came from the side and flew through the arm hole in his flak jacket and injured his left arm and chest area. He spent several days in the hospital and was back on duty within a few weeks.

He wouldn’t leave his men, whom he calls “his kids.” They are mostly 18 years old, his mother said.

That call, and his injuries, left Beth emotionally fragile under certain circumstances.

For example, she went to a benefit for Randall L. Clunen, a Columbiana County soldier, whose face was shredded on the right side by shrapnel from a suicide car bomb Dec. 9, 2003. He was 19 at the time.

When she walked in and saw Clunen, she said she “just burst into tears.”

“He looked so much like Mark,” who was in Iraq at the time. “I didn’t want to make a scene, so I just gave my donation and left,” she said.

“I want every American back. When I hear someone has been wounded or killed, I just feel for their family,” she said, tears welling in her eyes.

Before the troops come home, however, she believes the United States has an obligation to leave Iraq a better place. She thinks some progress is being made: “We are building schools and getting a health care system in place there,” she said.

But it’s clear the nation’s political and military leaders were not prepared for the aftermath of the war, she said.

Just as she thinks the U.S. has an obligation to Iraq and its people, she more strongly believes it owes its own military people, both in-country, and when they come home.

“I think they are doing the highest thing they can do for their country, and they are not coming back to a better life,” she said. “The average reservist has a family and a job or business that he or she leaves behind. People are losing their homes and farms and businesses. There are a lot of prices to pay.”

She said calling home is very expensive and beyond the means of some troops. “Contact with home is very important. I don’t care how they do it. The government should provide free telephone calls for military personnel in Iraq,” she said.

Beth said at one time her family was spending $300 or $400 a month sending care packages to Michael and Mark filled with things they couldn’t get in Iraq.

Also, she said, troops need help when they get back. “They are so naive when they enlist and have no idea what they are getting in to. To them, war is not a reality,” she said.

She said Michael, who wanted to be a Marine since he was a child, has been changed from a fun-loving son to a haunted man: “I feel like I’ve lost part of the son I raised. He’s hard-core Marine all the way.”

Mark, who was with a combat engineers unit in Iraq, is now stationed at Norfolk, Va., processing soldiers in and out of the country. He enjoys this because it keeps him involved in the military, she said. He has an inoperable back injury that keeps him out of combat, but has also left him in pain, she said.

Beth said the military is doing the best that it can given the rules of engagement, media scrutiny and lack of support from a lot of politicians.

“I would like to think the war on terrorism has prevented new attacks on the U.S., since there have been terrorist attacks in other nations,” she said. “I think 9/11 woke America up, but I’m afraid people will become desensitized. I don’t want another attack on America ... My son says it is better to fight over there than here.”

Beth, 46, a licensed practical nurse who last year graduated from Youngstown State University with a bachelor’s degree in community health education, is chief operating officer for the Youngstown Community Health Center. On the back of her graduate cap she put the words: “For My Sons” because she wanted to encourage them.

Regardless of how they feel about the war, all Americans should support their troops, she said.

“When the troops see lack of support for the war, they see that as a lack of support for them. It hurts their morale,” she said.

alcorn@vindy.com