What would the Bull Moose be saying?

By Bertram de Souza

Dear Don:

You probably don’t have a laptop computer at the hospital — and even if you did, you probably wouldn’t know how to turn it on, let alone surf the Net. (Can’t wait for your retort!)

But if you did, you undoubtedly would be chuckling over the fire storm ignited by an entry in “Bertram’s Blog — Stirfry” that discussed your medical condition and revealed your home remedy — which caused your dangerously low blood pressure to rise to normal.

(You’ll be proud to know that the remedy — several jiggers of bourbon, chased down with beer — is being reviewed by the American Medical Association as a cure for ailments of the heart.)

The entry (go to Vindy.com) suggested that your body’s recovery was due to the fact that it finally received the nourishment it had been craving since you suffered your stroke.

(Don’t laugh too hard, you might dislodge the stent.)

Readers’ reaction

Unfortunately, many readers took exception to the tone and substance of the blog. They felt it was in poor taste and they voiced their displeasure.

Here’s a sampling:

“I can’t believe what I just read. You must have no respect whatsoever for ailing people, and what reason do you have for such condescending rubbish? What has inspired such ignorance towards Don anyways? I hope you realized how many people you just pissed off with your meaningless drivel. You’re the lowest of them all.

“I say we petition to get this jerk off the Vindicator staff before he embarrasses himself any further.”

— By sick_boy_1227

“Bertram,

“You are a worthless hack of a writer.

“All the best in your next career”

— By Peanuthead

There even was one from a person who identified herself as your granddaughter:

“I am writing you to let you know firsthand as Mr. Hanni’s granddaughter what a very sad and emotional time it is for me and the rest of my family. Mr. de Souza I want to remind you, that you too at one point will be in a similar situation. I can only hope when your time comes that you will be treated in the same manner as to which you have treated my grandfather in his time of need. Mr. de Souza you are a disgusting little man who has been raping this community with your horrifying journalism.”

— By central

But, chairman, there also was this from a woman who knows you as yours truly does:

“That’s our Don! (and if beer and bourban accomplished this, weeellll, just think what a bottle of his favorite homemade red wine will do????!!!!). WE LOVE YOU, DON!”

— By lorypatrick

Ms. Patrick posted the first reply to the blog about you, but then she filed another — after reading what your fans and loyalists had to say.

“I am so sorry that this article (and the emotions it’s aroused) have gone from bad to worse! I consider myself a true friend of Don Hanni’s and my heart does go out to family and friends who are struggling with this turn of events — from the stroke in October to now, this has been a tough time. And yet let’s do what Don would’ve done (and did do for many, many years these articles were written about him), he’d shake his head and laugh. Those who know Don know he is a self made man, a street fighter who knew his best punch was “preparation”, he continued to practice that punch throughout his entire career. And he continues to be a fighter. So I, for one, am going to use this space and time to let everyone know that Don Hanni is still fighting the fight! Is he dying? Hell, we’re all dying! None of us know what tomorrow may bring. So for tonight, I’d like you’all to know that Don was in good spirits. He shared stories and laughed with me; he was his usual outspoken, opinionated, lovable self. He wants to go home and sit in his favorite chair, although he said we could all come over and have a pajama party. ... So I will not dwell on anything negative; I am thinking positive. And I am thinking of the special times we all have shared!

“Please, do the same! And please do plan to come to the pajama party.

“We’ll make popcorn and tell scary stories and play pin the tail on de Souza!”

— By lorypatrick

Don L. “Bull Moose” Hanni offended? Not on his worse day.

The only thing his pals are doing by emoting is ruining his reputation.