French native values U.S. as home

By KATIE SEMINARA

A World War II bride shared her culture with Americans, while becoming acclimated to American traditions.

HOWLAND — Sitting in her black straw hat with large tortoise-shell sunglasses covering her eyes, Eliette Grafas still looks like she belongs at a sidewalk table outside a French caf .

But the caf s of Aix-en-Provence, France, are memories away. More than 60 years ago, Eliette came to America as a World War II bride.

Eliette, 88, lives at the Shepherd of the Valley, where her daughter, Christine Rizkallah, is a frequent visitor.

Times such as the Fourth of July make Rizkallah think about how she got to be an American and how her mother’s life was changed when she came here from France.

“Because this country is made up of immigrants, it’s a wonderful experience for me to be first generation,” said Rizkallah of being born of a Spanish mother and Lithuanian father.

Eliette loved the aspect that so many cultures could come together in America. She joined an international club when she moved to the states, her daughter recalled, and conversed with people from all over the globe.

“It doesn’t matter what city you go to, you are surrounded by all cultures,” said Rizkallah — who noted she was lucky to have parents who connected her to different backgrounds at a young age.

Although Eliette could see America was a melting pot, she still had to overcome cultural and social differences.

“I know I was homesick,” said Eliette of her first years in a new country, not knowing how to speak the language.

Food was one of the more difficult aspects for Eliette to grasp, said Rizkallah: “She almost became anorexic.”

Things such as corn were an American staple, but Eliette saw corn as animal feed.

She wasn’t shy when it came to sharing French cuisine with her neighbors and friends. “She would make crepes for all the neighborhood kids and we would see who could eat the most,” said Rizkallah.

Weather was another factor that weighed heavily upon Eliette’s transition into her American lifestyle. Raised in the South of France, Eliette never had to deal with snow and literally shivered at the thought of her first snow flurry.

Even though Eliette may never have gotten over the colder weather, Rizkallah said, “my mother loved the U.S.”

Eliette also loved France and she never forgot the name of her favorite caf , Les Deux Garcons.

Les Deux Garcons is a vault of both good and bad history for Eliette, explained her daughter, who went on numerous visits back to her mother’s childhood town of Aix-en-Provence.

“She would talk about how different life was before the war and how when the Nazis would come into the cafe, people would fall silent,” said Rizkallah.

Before the war, Eliette lived a comfortable life. Her father was a captain in the French Army, and she was able to safely explore the world in places such as Egypt, Vietnam and Morocco.

“She went from a life of total privilege to a life of war,” said Rizkallah.

By age 19, Eliette had lost her mother to sudden heart failure, and her father reported back to Africa for duty, leaving her to care for her three siblings, 14, 10, and 1.

She would tell stories of Jewish neighbors’ disappearing and of the fear she and her friends shared of interrogation by not only the Nazis, but French and American soldiers.

“You can’t wrap your brain around it,” said Rizkallah of the experiences her mother endured during her years before coming to the U.S.

Not only did Eliette have to comprehend the death of her mother, but also the death of her fianc , Lucien. He was killed when Nazis discovered that he was working with the French underground helping Jews flee Europe.

With the death of two close loved ones, plus the deaths of numerous friends, Eliette slipped into a state of depression, according to Rizkallah.

“Her friends became worried about her,” the daughter said. They insisted on introducing Eliette to her future American groom.

“I can remember my mother saying, ‘I found him so vulgar,’ of my father,” said Rizkallah.

Eliette met Stanley Grafas at a function provided by the United Service Organization. Stanley enlisted after finishing his college education. When the Army realized he spoke so many languages, they assigned him to be a translator.

The couple wed in France, despite Eliette’s father not fully supporting his daughter’s decision to marry an American. It must have been a whirlwind romance, according to Rizkallah. She remembers Eliette saying that Stanley’s sensitivity and French speaking abilities were attractive to her — attractive enough for Eliette to venture over the Atlantic to build a life and make America her new home.