A sneak peak at Super Bowl ads

A 30-second spot during
the big game will fetch
$2.7 million for Fox.

By BRANDON GRIGGS

SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

A car speeds down a dark highway, its headlights illuminating the road ahead to reveal none other than ... ’80s fitness icon Richard Simmons, doing jumping jacks in his little striped shorts. “Squeeze those buns! You are so worth it! C’mon, girls!” chirps Simmons before the car bears down on him and his aerobic cheers turn to screams.

A wish-fulfillment fantasy for millions of Americans? The glorious dream I had last night? No — Bridgestone tires’ first-ever Super Bowl ad, which will air during the third quarter of Sunday’s game between the undefeated New England Patriots and the underdog New York Giants.

It’s that time of year again, when the on-field action in Phoenix will be overwhelmed by pre-game hype and post-game quarterbacking over which pricey Super Bowl commercials scored highest with viewers. The stakes may be bigger than ever: With the writers’ strike canceling such scripted hits as “Heroes,” and maybe even the Oscars, Sunday’s game could be advertisers’ only opportunity this winter to reach a huge audience.

That’s why Fox is getting a record $2.7 million for a 30-second Super Bowl spot. (This trend in profiteering should not be confused with a recent CBS.com story headlined, “Prostitutes Look to Score at Super Bowl,” which is about actual prostitutes.)

That’s also why Audi paid Paramount Pictures between $500,000 and $1.5 million to spoof the horse’s-head scene from “The Godfather” for a Super Bowl ad touting its R8 sports car. The tag line: “Old luxury has been put on notice.” Considering the R8’s $109,000 price tag, buyers’ financial health may be put on notice, too.

Among other ads we’ll see Sunday:

UA Budweiser spot in which a Clydesdale, cut from the brewer’s iconic wagon team, trains for a “Rocky”-like comeback with the help of a cute Dalmatian. Sounds, um, “heartwarming.”

USix ads for Bud Light, including one in which some guys sneak beer into a wine-and-cheese party (hoo-hah!) and another in which — get this — Bud Light gives its drinkers X-ray vision, allowing guys to see through women’s clothes! Ha! Stop it, you’re killing me here!

UA Pepsi ad in which two deaf pals, communicating through sign language, seek out a friend’s Super Bowl party. The groundbreaking spot is subtitled and completely silent for its entire 60 seconds, which may lead confused viewers to check their mute buttons

UEight zillion plugs for Fox’s “American Idol,” which is apparently some sort of talent show. Maybe you’ve heard of it.