Typos and misuse of words often add humor by mistake

There’s even a Web site devoted to these goofs.

Where are the proofreaders?

Readers may ask that question of editors of newsletters and, of course, newspapers. The truth is editors are now the proofreaders. Programs to check spelling and grammar don’t flag words written correctly but misused in a sentence. And these programs also don’t catch words written correctly but are typos in a particular sentence.

Google the phrase “church newsletters,” and the Internet will produce thousands of sites offering inspirational messages, Biblical verses, religious-themed puzzles and cartoons, to name a few of the offerings.

One site, www.realfunnyjokes, lists some of the mistakes, through typos or misuse of words, that will make you smile.

On the lighter side of religion, here are some actual sentences found in church bulletins and newsletters:

UDon’t let worry kill you. Let the church help.

U Thursday night — potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

U Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

U The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

U This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

U Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.

U This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

U The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

U At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

U Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

U The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

U The associate minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge — Up Yours.”

U J.P. Deli and Bakery of Fairfax will provide a different sinner each week for a very reasonable price. (A notice for a Lenten dinner)