‘Healthy families’ program aims to help couples in U.S.

The program targets
marriage and relationship training.

MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The Bush administration has high hopes for the likes of Sonya Bristlin and Bobby Martinez.

Thanks to recent local funding of the federal “healthy marriage” initiative, Bristlin and Martinez learned last summer how to argue. About picking the right time. About starting gently and really listening, without malice or hostility.

The couple, who have two children, were early participants in a program aimed at lifting more poor families into the middle class.

By helping expectant or new parents improve their relationships, the initiative seeks to keep more families intact. That is important because single parenthood is a key indicator of poverty.

The Welfare Reform Act of 1996 set a goal of increasing the number of two-parent families among low-income people. In 2002, the federal government began awarding grants, and in late 2006 it pledged $75 million annually for five years to 126 agencies.

One grant went to the Healthy Families Counseling & Support program, based in Kansas City, North. Karen Daentl, the program’s director of development, sought to add training to enhance the relationships between parents, and she now directs the program.

At sites in Clay and Platte counties, two or three groups meet one night a week for 14 weeks to talk, watch videos and role-play.

“Most of us are short on some of the interpersonal competencies,” said Bill Coffin, a marriage education specialist with the federal Administration for Children and Families. He said that training to address those shortcomings largely has been a middle- and upper-class phenomenon.

One goal of the grants is to level the playing field.

Research has proven that a free dinner is a good motivator, so pizza and fruit salad were the first order of business at a group meeting last month at Second Baptist Church in Liberty, Mo. The turnout was small — one couple who were expecting a baby in a few months, plus Bristlin and Martinez. Bristlin and Martinez were there for a refresher after completing the program in September.

The subject was resolving disagreements through compromise. A key to reaching agreement is to keep on talking — “again and again and again,” said Charles Schlee, a therapist.

Although marriage and relationship training has a proven track record with middle- and upper-income couples, it is not yet clear how much it can help people of lesser means.

The federal government is funding two large research projects to evaluate the effects.