2008 could be the year for strange

A year ago, the New Year’s column in this space contained a list of resolutions designed to make the lives of our public employees easier and more fulfilling. Here’s an example: “Be it resolved ... that public sector workers be given the freedom to show up for work whenever they please, take as many breaks as they deem necessary for their well-being, and leave when they think they’ve shuffled enough papers, sharpened enough pencils and leaned against enough shovels.”

It is a pleasure to announce that all the resolutions for 2007 were kept.

Today’s column offers some predictions for 2008.

UIf Barack Obama’s bid for the presidency turns out to be more than just a flash in the pan, look for his detractors to publicly emphasize his middle name, Hussein, and to focus on the fact that his father is African (from the East African nation of Kenya) and his mother is a white Kansan.

Bogeyman politics will rear its ugly head.

UGov. Ted Strickland will let his hair grow long, wrap it in a turban-like head piece, and sport a full beard. He’ll also have fire-lighting ceremonies in the mansion. Why? To prove that he does not hate Zoroastrians.

And, Strickland will stop eating beef and host Bollywood nights at the mansion — to let the Hindus know that he respects their religion.

As Zoro/Veggie Man, Strickland would appease those who may have found fault with his comments about Zoroastrianism and Hindusim just before Christmas.

It all began when the Ohio Department of Natural Resources ordered the removal of Nativity displays, depicting the birth of Christ in a stable, from Shawnee State Park and Malabar Farm. The order was prompted by a complaint about the displays.

The complainant argued that large figures representing the Hindu and Zoroastrian religions should be displayed too.

The governor, an ordained Methodist minister, decided that the Nativity creches should be restored because they’re appropriate and traditional.

As for a symbol for Zoroastrianism? Displaying it isn’t traditional and defies commonsense, the governor contended.

Needless to say, press coverage of the controversy had the effect of portraying Strickland as seeing the world through his Christian-colored glasses.

UAttorney General Marc Dann, who is Jewish, will convert to Christianity and become a faith healer. Then, he will go about healing Republicans who have accused him of being anti-Christian.

In the process, the Liberty Township resident will get these GOPers to confess that their favorite movie (when they get together) is “Brokeback Mountain,” and that their favorite convention city is ... Las Vegas.

(For those who fail to grasp the point, Republicans in Columbus have made hay with Attorney General Dann’s reference to Good Friday in an e-mail he sent to a staffer.

The Ohio Republican Party and Ohio Christian Alliance demanded that he publicly apologize for the insensitive remark.

According to the Dayton Daily News, Dann e-mailed his communications director, Leo Jennings III, about an editorial in The Vindicator.

“Bentley said there are six nasty posts after the Vindy editorial. All about you,” the e-mail stated. “Jesus had it better on good friday.”)

Ohio Republicans, kowtowing to the Christian right, orchestrated a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman, thus denying recognition of same-sex marriage, and have continued to oppose casino-style gambling in Ohio.

UBouyed by Sen. Obama’s surprisingly strong showing in Thursday’s Iowa caucuses, Youngstown Mayor Jay Williams, preparing for a statewide run, will also begin talking about his African roots.

But the mayor should know there’s risk in his delving into his family history in Africa. He may find that he is related to this writer, who was born in Uganda and whose mother also was born in the East African nation. (Hey, bro, how about a job?)

UFighting between Boardman trustees Kathy Miller and Robyn Gallitto will be so intense, new Trustee Larry Moliterno will be rendered a girlie man.