‘Felicity’ keeps him dangling on a string after split


Dear Annie: I am a 24-year-old male. Four months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up after three years together. “Felicity” wanted the split. I still love her.

We had our share of problems and I have some trust issues. I also was very critical and didn’t let her be herself. Near the end, I suspected she was seeing someone else, although she insisted he was just a friend. But when I moved out, he moved in.

I’m trying to get over her, but every three or four weeks, Felicity will text or call and say how much she misses me and how angry she is that I didn’t trust her. Just the other day, she invited me to lunch, and the next day, she asked me to a party. She says it’s because she misses hanging out. This is hard because I keep thinking it means we might get back together. But, Annie, I still see the other guy’s car over at her place.

I don’t know what she wants from me. How am I supposed to forget her? Still Hoping

Dear Hoping: Felicity isn’t sure what she wants, but if she were seriously interested in getting back together, she’d tell you and break it off with the other guy.

Instead, she likes having both of you dangling on strings. If you want to get over her, you must stop accepting her invitations, stop responding to her text messages and phone calls, and start dating someone else. Once she sees that you can indeed live without her, she may make another play for you, but it sounds like some of your trust issues were well-founded. Be careful what you wish for.

Dear Annie: This morning I was in the grocery store and saw a little boy in a shopping cart playing with a plastic produce bag over his head. His face was completely covered. Both of his parents were fewer than 10 feet away at the time. Thank God I was closer.

I yanked the bag off his head and scolded him never to do it again. At first I was horrified, but now I’m absolutely furious! What is wrong with these parents? This little boy was no more than 3 years old, and I’m not sure how he got hold of the bag, but he could have died in the few minutes it took those parents to pick out cucumbers and squeeze tomatoes.

Please print this as a common sense reminder to parents to never let a child play with a plastic bag. Glad I Was There in Fremont, Calif.

Dear Fremont: You may have saved that child’s life, and we appreciate the reminder that toddlers are quick and parents need to be vigilant. (We might have saved the scolding for the parents rather than the child, however.)

Dear Annie: Your advice to “Thumbelina” was right on. She was the 30-year-old wife who’d recently lost 40 pounds and was surprised to find herself unhappy with the way she looked.

I just turned 40, and after my third child was born, I decided to get my act together and lose some weight. In less than a year, through a sensible diet and exercise, I managed to drop over 50 pounds. I should still lose another 20 to be a “healthy” weight, and I have loose skin from being pregnant and obese, but I don’t let that stop me from being happy because I’ve tried to keep my focus on being fit, not “pretty.” Let’s face it. Looks only last so long, skinny or not.

Thumbelina should find something else to put her energy into. She and her husband should join a gym. Take up running. Train for a triathlon. She’s still quite young, and there is too much fun to be had instead of worrying about what she sees in the mirror. Been There in Houston

Dear Houston: Looks don’t last forever, so it makes sense to work on being healthy — at whatever weight that happens to be.

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