Are Browns, fans addicted to losing?

CLEVELAND — Being a Browns fan is sort of like being a smoker.

You get addicted young. Your friends (who don’t share the addiction) make fun of you. People on the street think less of you.

You know it’s bad for you.

You know it’ll probably kill you eventually.

But you’re addicted.

I don’t smoke, so this is just a guess. (One shouldn’t have too many vices and I only have room for the Browns and biting my nails.) But judging by the high cigarette prices and the fact that the Browns have sold out every game since 1999 (despite just one winning season over that span), it seems safe to compare the two.

Sunday’s 34-7 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers — Cleveland’s eighth straight in the “rivalry” — wasn’t quite as bad as the Christmas Eve debacle of two years ago but was worse than the 1999 opener, if only because the Browns were supposed to at least look competent Sunday.

Instead, their first four plays on Sunday looked like this: 2-yard gain by Jamal Lewis, dropped pass by Joe Jurevicius, 5-yard sack of Charlie Frye and, in one of the worst plays in modern NFL history, a 15-yard punt by newly-signed Paul Ernster, who first dropped the perfect snap and whose punt was overshadowed by four — four! — offensive penalties on the same play: illegal formation, illegal man downfield and two holds.

“I have never dropped the ball before,” said Ernster.

Stick around, kid. It’ll get worse.

Technically a sellout

Sunday’s game was technically a sellout, although the stadium was only about 90 percent full and at least 10 percent of those fans were wearing black and gold. Afterward, Browns players spoke of doing better in the rivalry, which is sort of like a plate of ribs vowing to perform better the next time it’s matched up against Browns tackle Ted Washington.

Pittsburgh has won 14 of the last 15 meetings between the two teams. The Steelers lead the series 56-55 and Sunday’s win marked the first time they’ve led, a statistic almost as amazing as the fact that Charlie Frye has managed to start two consecutive openers for an NFL team.

Frye — who won an epic battle of “You take it! No you take it!” with Derek Anderson for the starting job in training camp — managed to get booed exactly 4 minutes, 13 seconds into the first game of the NFL season, which might be a record.

For those of you not at the game, the first chants of “Brady! Brady!” didn’t start until five minutes into the second quarter, just after Frye (the savior du jour of two years ago) threw behind receivers Braylon Edwards and Joe Jurevicius on consecutive downs.

Frye managed to stick around for another series after that (the Browns went three-and-out) before Derek Anderson (last year’s savior du jour) entered to cheers. Anderson held off the “Brady! Brady” chants until just before halftime. Apparently, his four straight incompletions didn’t quell the demand for Brady Quinn (this year’s savior du jour).

Quinn on the sidelines

Quinn, however, was inactive for the game and spent the afternoon holding a clipboard, charting plays and wondering whether his first start will come next week or the week after. As he exited the field after the game, the fans near the tunnel chanted his name and held out hands, hoping to grasp either Quinn or hope.

Wait. Is there a difference?

Quinn wasn’t drafted to hold clipboards and Browns coach Romeo Crennel is smart enough to understand that current NFL coaches who lose home openers by 27 points soon become ex-NFL coaches.

Starting Quinn soon will at least buy him some time. It might even save his job. Either way, it’s a good idea. Anyone wondering whether Frye or Anderson is the solution at quarterback only had to turn on his television to get the answer.

The team may be a laughingstock around the league, but Browns fans will still come to games, just as many of them still reach for cigarettes.

But based on Sunday’s performance, reaching for beer might be a better idea.

XJoe Scalzo is a sportswriter for The Vindicator. Write to him at scalzo@vindy.com.