WAR IN IRAQ Soldier, kin anxious for normal life

The Army specialist from
Youngstown hasn’t seen his son since shortly after his birth.

By DAVID SKOLNICK

VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER

YOUNGSTOWN — With her 10-month-old son crawling at her feet, Abbie Balestrino talks of a day when she can have a normal family life.

That day, for now, could be two months away.

Her husband, David, an Army specialist and combat engineer, has served in Iraq since August 2006, four months after the young couple married. His only time away from Iraq was two weeks in November 2006 to be there for the birth of his son.

“I look forward to him coming back and doing family things like going to dinner,” she said. “We want to do the things that most people take for granted.”

Although nothing is guaranteed, Balestrino expects to come home, hopefully for good, in early November in time for the 1-year birthday of his son, Brady.

Life is a challenge for Balestrino, 21, and his family in Youngstown.

“Coming over here was pretty rough,” David said during a telephone interview from Baghdad. “It’s a rough transition. You’ve got all these emotions of being homesick and missing my wife and family.”

As a combat engineer, Balestrino detects and dismantles bombs and land mines.

Because of the dangers of her husband’s job, Abbie said, “Anytime the phone rings or the door bell rings, my heart drops and I get nervous.”

David called Abbie in October 2006, when she was only a few days from delivering Brady, to tell her he “got blown up.” His vehicle hit a roadside bomb, causing David to receive a concussion. David still suffers from headaches and nosebleeds as a result.

He’s had “multiple bombs go off underneath” his armored truck, but “nothing happened” to him during those incidents. “Never knowing when you’ll hit a land mine is the worst part,” he said.

“He tells me everything and sometimes I don’t want to know,” Abbie said.

Abbie, 22, said David’s father and stepmother — David and Barbara Balestrino — and her parents — Mark and Debbie Chopp — have been incredibly supportive during the time David’s been in Iraq.

“I work during the day and when I get home, I have to be a mom and take care of the house,” she said. “I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own.”

If the lawn at her Belle Vista Avenue home needs to be mowed, David’s father is there.

Also, her son has been a lifesaver.

“If it wasn’t for Brady, I don’t know what to do,” said Abbie, who works at Wee Care Day Care in Boardman as a preschool teacher. “He’s been my saving grace.”

Although they’ve been married since April 28, 2006, they lived together for only a brief time as husband and wife.

As a member of the Army’s 10th Mountain Division, 2nd Brigade, Alpha Company, his home base is Fort Drum, near Watertown, N.Y., about 400 miles from Youngstown.

Missing his son

Except for the brief time after Brady was born, David sees his son only through the Internet and in pictures.

He can’t bring himself to talk to Brady on the phone.

“Sometimes he doesn’t want to hear about what Brady did,” David’s father said. “It hurts him so badly that he’s not here.”

“You have to pick and choose what you tell him about Brady because it hurts him so much to not be here,” Barbara added.

But the home he will soon share with Abbie on Belle Vista, and David and Barbara Balestrino’s home on Cherokee Drive, are filled with pictures of Brady’s dad.

“Brady sees him so much — and I always talk about daddy and that he’ll be home soon,” Abbie said.

Though he’s missed Brady’s first Christmas and the first time he crawled, the family is putting off other firsts for David: first visits with Santa and Easter Bunny; first baseball game; first fishing trip.

“It was really bad, leaving my wife,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong. I cried and cried and cried, but leaving my son after seeing him for only two weeks — it was by far, hands-down the hardest thing I had to do in my life. My son’s going to be a year old and I haven’t seen him since he was born.”

David hopes he’ll be home in time for a monumental first for Brady — his son’s first birthday Nov. 9.

David was supposed to be done in Iraq last month, but his tour of duty was extended, probably to early November.

“He wasn’t happy for a while and was in a funk,” Barbara said. “But he’s been doing amazing.”

When David gets home, he wants to get a job in law enforcement. He’ll be on inactive duty for about four years when he returns and plans to join either the National Guard or the Reserves when he comes home.

The war debate

This week in Washington, D.C., the debate over the war will kick into high gear. Army Gen. David Petraeus, U.S. commander in Iraq, is to deliver a report Monday to Congress on the state of the war.

David said he’s impressed with the attitude among Iraqis about running their own country.

“The Iraqis say, ‘This is our country and we’re going to stand up and be accountable,’” he said.

His family expressed some concern with how the war in Iraq is being handled.

“We aren’t told what’s going on,” Barbara said. “We don’t know if adding troops is helping. It’s frustrating not seeing any results after all these years.”

David’s been ready to come home since he arrived in Iraq, and though he misses his family, he is focused on his work there.

When David returns home, it’s going to be an adjustment for the family.

“There’s the chance he could not be the same person,” Abbie said. “He’ll be changed [by his time in Iraq], but he’s the same old Dave. He wants to come home and be homebodies and just be together. We want to go Christmas shopping or go grocery shopping. He wants to be a dad.”

A 2004 graduate of Chaney High School, David spent his first two years of high school at Ursuline. He met Abbie when he was a freshman at Ursuline and she was a sophomore. The two became best friends, and after he frequently asked Abbie out, she finally agreed. The two dated and fell in love.