Watch out for political ghouls
Call it a subjective judgment — “subjective” means we may or may not be imagining this — but this fall there seem to be a lot fewer denunciations of Halloween as a thinly disguised manifestation of Satanism, witchcraft, demonology and cross-dressing.
This always seemed to us a lot of theological freight to strap onto an event largely observed by small children dressed, in order of popularity, as princesses, Spider-Man, pirates, witches and fairies, celebrating the pleasures of free candy to excess.
Adults celebrate it, too, dressed, in order of popularity, as witches, pirates, vampires, cats and princesses, for whatever that says about our originality. But grownups of the spreadsheet persuasion observe Halloween for another reason: American consumers and their credit cards are all that stand between the nation and recession, and Halloween is a portent of how they will spend during the holiday shopping season.
Halloween is of far more significance to retailers that it ever was to the pagans. So far, the omens are good, with a projected $5.07 billion to be spent this year on All Hallow.
Sinister menace
That kind of cash outlay indicates the forces of anti-paganism and good dental hygiene are still far from their goal of eradicating Halloween. Instead, this year and next Halloween faces a more sinister menace — the cold, clammy, grasping hand of electoral politics.
Adults with an otherwise sure grip on reality will dress up as President Bush, Al Gore and Bill Clinton. In a recent poll of scariest political costume, 37 percent picked Hillary Rodham Clinton, 14 percent Rudolph Giuliani.
The Associated Press, which should know better, ran a solemn survey that found “70 percent of people in the poll who consider themselves liberal and 67 percent of the moderates questioned said they would hand out treats compared with 55 percent of conservatives.”
If some small creature in a conservative blue suit and red tie or a conservative black pantsuit with pink blouse comes to the door Halloween night and, instead of “trick-or treat,” says, “My fellow Americans ...,” be afraid, be very afraid.
Happy Halloween.
Scripps Howard News Service