No, no, no to ban on ‘Ho, ho, ho’

By JESSE LEAVENWORTH

HARTFORD COURANT

Most rappers (and Don Imus) would not make a good Santa Claus . Their “hos” — even in the jolly triplicate — just wouldn’t convey the proper spirit.

But ban working Santas from using “Ho, ho, ho”? That’s a realm beyond race, gender and political correctness — a new frontier in coddling kookiness.

And yet, that was the story out of Australia last week, where a company that trains Santa Clauses reportedly told recruits to avoid “ho, ho, ho,” in part because it conjures American slang for a prostitute, according to The Daily Telegraph newspaper in Sydney.

At least two red-suited rookies Down Under reportedly quit over the restriction on St. Nick’s traditional belly-shaking expression. The Telegraph reported that a representative of Westaff, which provides Santas to retail centers around the world, wrote to Australian stores explaining the company’s position.

“Westaff has been a provider of quality, caring Santas for over 40 years,” Sari Hegarty reportedly wrote in an e-mail. “Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience. We ask our Santas to try techniques such as lowering their tone of voice and using ‘ha, ha, ha’ to encourage the children to come forward and meet Santa.”

Westaff national operations manager Greg Jansz told the newspaper it was “misleading” to say the company had banned the jolly old elf’s traditional greeting — that each Santa could use his own discretion. A report by the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. also said that Westaff denied imposing a complete ban on ho-ho-ho.

Ha, ha, ha!

Greeting lives in U.S.

Santa must say “ho, ho, ho,” just as he must have a fluffy white beard. Santa without his “hos” is like Fat Albert without his “heys.” Thankfully, such nonsense has not traveled across the ocean. Santa and his ho-ho-ho increasingly is seen in local malls. .

“Our Santa definitely does keep with all the holiday traditions, including jingling his bells and saying ‘ho, ho, ho,’ ” said Shannon Eterginio, spokeswoman for Westfarms Mall in West Hartford, Conn.

Westfarms’ big man gets his pedigree from Cherry Hill Photo in New Jersey, another major Santa provider. A representative at Cherry Hill would not comment on company policy regarding Santa’s dialogue, but she laughed when asked whether their Santas are banned from using the expression.

Australians who commented on the story on the Telegraph’s Web site were duly outraged at the politically correct silliness, especially because “ho” is not even their slang. What kind of wonky (unstable) dill (fool) came up with this, they wanted to know.

Let us all hope that American Santas will continue to resound with “hos” and that they all follow the advice of well-known Santa trainer Jenny Zink, who said : “Santa does not have a three-martini lunch. Santa does not borrow money from store employees. Santa wears a good deodorant.”

Ho, ho, ho.

Los Angeles Times-Washington Post News Service