Lifestyle expert offers advice on personalizing weddings

Don't let others dictate to you what you should and shouldn't have at your wedding.
LOS ANGELES TIMES
Colin Cowie knows a little something about throwing a great shindig. He's organized parties for Oprah Winfrey, Jennifer Lopez and Lisa Kudrow. So it's no surprise that his latest project is an ode to one of the most elaborate affairs of all time: The wedding.
In his new book, "Colin Cowie's Extraordinary Weddings" (Clarkson Potter, 75), the New York-based lifestyle expert showcases 14 lavish nuptials that take place from the stages of the Metropolitan Opera House to the sandy beaches of the Bahamas.
"An intimate wedding for 40 people in your family's back yard demands the same amount of planning ... as an extravaganza for 1,200 guests," says Cowie.
The coffee-table book captures the drama, elegance and romance of a Cowie wedding, along with advice on every aspect of wedding planning, from creating a theme to choosing the menu and table settings to crafting a memorable and meaningful ceremony.
"In this book lies a piece of my heart, my soul and part of my hairline," he joked in a recent telephone interview.
The exuberant lifestyle expert answered some questions about planning your dream wedding.
Q. What's the most important piece of advice you can give to a bride?
A. Don't let others dictate to you what you should and shouldn't have. Be prepared when you go out into the industry to talk to vendors. Bring a file with you with pictures of things that you like and that you don't like so you can articulate what you want. Paint a picture for them.
Q. Should a bride ask the groom to help with planning?
A. Of course! Grooms should be involved in the wedding planning. If they are not involved in the single most important day of your lives, it's a sign of things to come.
Q. Any tips on creating a meaningful ceremony?
A. The idea of a textbook ceremony where the minister inserts the name of the bride and groom is about as interesting as watching paint dry. Tell your own unique story. Today, there are more intercultural and interracial weddings. You should embrace rituals that bring people together, whether it's lighting a candle, having guests write notes to the couple on ribbons or ringing a bell for a loved one who has passed away.
Q. You compare weddings to theatrical events. What's the best way to close the show?
A. On your wedding day, be a storyteller. The first chapter is the ceremony, the second is the cocktails, the third is the reception. The final chapter is the after-party. For a chic after-party, go for a club atmosphere. Think about creating two to three signature cocktails and name them after your bridesmaids.