If she hopes to win, avoid the competition

Dear Annie: I'm not very proud of myself, and I need help. I have not been blessed with a soul mate, but I haven't totally given up hope. My best friend, "Isabel," however, has been married for over 20 years to a great guy. Isabel is very beautiful and men find her fascinating (like Angelina Jolie).
Sometimes, Isabel wants to go out without her husband and enjoy the attention she gets from men. I can understand her being flattered by it. She does eventually tell them that she's married, and I've never known her to actually play around.
The problem is, I'm very jealous of Isabel's ability to attract men, and I hate myself for it. Also, I worry that if I do meet a nice guy, as soon as he sees Isabel, he will be totally smitten with her, even if she never encourages it. I feel so insecure and don't know how to deal with it. Can you help? Jealous in Indy
Dear Indy: It's natural to be jealous of someone who gives off such powerful vibes, and you actually seem to be handling it well. Isabel obviously needs the ego boost that these flirtations bring, but she should be careful that some guy doesn't get the wrong idea and create a problem. If you are feeling insecure about your ability to attract a man, ask Isabel for some pointers. She will probably have a lot of good ideas about hair, makeup and clothing, and especially attitude. Then, when you are ready to start looking, we strongly recommend you do it without Isabel.
Dear Annie: Last night, I attended a musical variety show at a local school with two of my children. My 9-year-old daughter sings in her school's chorus, one of the featured ensembles at the show.
My children have been taught since infancy to sit quietly and attentively in a performance setting. What galled me was the behavior of other parents. The women in front of me talked through every performance. Another woman chatted on her cell phone the entire evening, even though the emcee asked that all cell phones be turned off. Most annoying were the parents of some second-graders who waved to their children and yelled out their names when they were on stage.
This event was a fund-raiser, and I paid good money to hear my daughter sing, just like the other parents in that room. I am extremely proud of her, her classmates and their wonderful director. I just wish I could have enjoyed her performance.
When the time came for us to leave (I had to take my toddler home), we waited for a break between groups so as not to disturb anyone. I couldn't help but tell my son (a little loudly), "Thank you for sitting and listening quietly during the music, unlike those ladies in front of us." Any suggestions for next time? Frustrated Dad in Mayberry
Dear Dad: We commend you for teaching your children proper manners, although chastising other patrons isn't the most effective way to do it. School performances tend to be more informal than regular concerts, with both children and parents becoming excited. So we forgive the parents who waved and yelled to their second-graders. But those who talk through recitals and chat on cell phones should be asked, politely, to stop.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Oldest Daughter," whose mother wanted a 50th anniversary party, even though her husband had died.
Five years ago, a good friend of mine passed away. Last year, on what would have been her 50th wedding anniversary, their sons and daughter had an "In Remembrance" party for their widowed father. Relatives and friends attended, a disk jockey played the songs the couple enjoyed during their life together, and we all danced and had fun. No mention was made of the anniversary, but "the remembrance" was there. A Friend in Fremont
Dear Fremont: It sounds lovely. Thanks for the suggestion.
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