Parental involvement breeds resentment

Dear Annie: My mom is a complete control freak. For a school project, I was supposed to research a type of bird, make a life-sized model and write a paper. I had three weeks to finish, and it sounded like fun. The day I started, Mom tried to take over. She gave me too many ideas and then tried to do the entire thing herself.
Seriously, Annie, I can't take her "help" anymore. One evening, Mom was away, and I worked on the project (while my dad supervised) and got a whole lot done. When Mom came home, I was taking a break and playing a videogame, and she told me I didn't do enough and should have worked on it more. That was the last straw.
Annie, I've told her I'm old enough to work on this by myself, and a little of her help goes a long way. I am sick of her trying to run my life. She always makes the family do unnecessary work. My sister plays the piano and is really good, yet Mom always tells her to practice more. My sister said if she has to practice more, her fingers will fall off. Even though she enjoys piano, she will quit if it turns into military camp. What can I do? Ticked Off
Dear Ticked Off: It's a parent's job to tell children to finish their homework and practice piano, and while you may resent it now, it's good that your mother cares enough to be involved. However, she should not be doing your projects for you, and she needs to back off enough for you to be accountable for the finished assignment, good or bad, late or not. Talk to both your parents, nicely, and explain that you appreciate their input, but want to take responsibility for your own homework. You also can enlist the help of your school counselor or a favorite teacher to get your point across.
Dear Annie: I'm a guy with a problem. I'm a terrible hypochondriac. I always worry about catching the flu or getting appendicitis. I'm healthy. I don't go running to the doctor. I just stew over stuff lurking out there.
I need help. This is ruining my life. My family can't stand me anymore. Are there any online resources? Nameless Hypochondriac
Dear Nameless: You have a health anxiety -- you are overly worried about contracting a disease you don't have and may never get. The good news is, you recognize the problem and want to fix it. Ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist, and in the meantime, try the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (adaa.org) and the Anxiety Zone (anxietyzone.com).
Dear Annie: I've been married a long time, but only in the last year have I understood what makes women tick. Men believe women like sex. Sex is what makes the world go round. But the truth is, sex is a tool women use to satisfy their urge to be a mother and to have a man provide security for her and her children.
Women have time to cart the kids to soccer games and sit in the stands for hours watching. She can do things for her mother and neighbors and charities, but five minutes of sex for her husband? She is too tired and too busy.
Women, just tell your husbands the truth. You don't like sex, and once your kids are born he can sleep on the couch or leave, as long as he sends the alimony and child support checks. Wise Too Late in Bossier, La.
Dear Bossier: We're sorry you've had such a bitter experience, but you don't speak for all men, and you certainly don't "understand" all women. If you haven't tried counseling, with or without your wife, please consider it now. Your letter made us sad (and a little irritated, too, we admit).
Creators Syndicate
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