Addiction destroys husband's personality

Dear Annie: I've been married for six years and have two wonderful young children. My husband, 36, is a good man and a great, playful father. He has a wonderful job that has enabled me to quit mine and stay home with my children.
The problem is my husband has a drug addiction. He smokes marijuana every day, all day, before work, after work and during his breaks. When he goes without, he has mood swings and screams and shouts at the boys and me. Our second bathroom has been turned into his personal smoke room. The kids and I are not allowed in, nor do we wish to use it, since he makes no effort to hide his drug paraphernalia.
I knew about his habit before we married, but we were young and I thought he would outgrow it. It is getting harder to cover for Daddy when he goes to the bathroom every 30 minutes. You wouldn't think he would want this kind of environment for his children. He would never volunteer to go to rehab. I don't know what to do. Addict's Wife
Dear Wife: An addict must be willing to quit before progress can be made, and your husband isn't there yet. Plus, this is illegal, and if the authorities find out, your children could be removed from your home. You may need to ask your husband to leave until he gets clean. There are support groups for families of drug addicts. Please contact Families Anonymous (familiesanonymous.org) at (800) 736-9805 for help. And when your husband wants to rejoin the real world, suggest he try Marijuana Anonymous (marijuana-anonymous.org) at (800) 766- 6779.
Dear Annie: My son and his wife provided me with a granddaughter last summer. Ever since the birth of this child, I've had the feeling my son is not the father. I was in the hospital when the baby was born and got to hold her shortly after birth. It felt as if I were holding a stranger. There were none of the emotions I felt the previous year, when my daughter provided me with a grandson.
The shape of this child's eyes and feet bring to mind the children of my daughter-in-law's best friend. Their feet have widely separated toes, and so does my new granddaughter. Before my son and his wife moved into their current house, they lived next door to this friend and her husband. I strongly suspect the husband fathered this child.
I am afraid of the possible ramifications of speaking up. Should I try and get a DNA test done without anyone knowing -- just to put my mind at ease? Grandma
Dear Grandma: You are jumping to conclusions based on very little. Many grandparents (even some parents) do not feel a strong emotional connection at birth. And, often, the features that make a child look like Mom or Dad aren't apparent for years. Whatever suspicions you may have, we urge you to put them out of your mind, say nothing, do nothing and try to love this child with all your heart. Any attempt to do otherwise could cause you to lose your relationship with your son. Even if you are right.
Dear Annie: My husband cannot resist looking at pretty women. He has occasionally stopped walking with me so he can take a better look.
I say this is rude and hurtful. It damages my ego as well. My husband sees nothing wrong with it, since he is "only looking." Is there a time limit on how long a guy should stare? What do you think, Annie? No Name
Dear No Name: It's normal for a guy to glance at an attractive woman, but it is not acceptable to look so long that his female companion becomes upset or hurt. Guys who need to ogle should have the decency not to do so when their wives or girlfriends are present.
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