Christmas poem brings hope for better world

Dear Readers: Merry Christmas. Here’s a lovely poem sent to us by one of our readers:

Christmas Gift Suggestions

To your enemy, forgiveness.

To an opponent, tolerance.

To a friend, your heart.

To a customer, service.

To all, charity.

To every child, a good example.

To yourself, respect. Oren Arnold

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Puzzled and Concerned,” who said a female co-worker wore revealing and inappropriate clothes at work.

My “Aunt Greta” is 73 years old, and I recently saw her at a funeral wearing skintight jeans and a skimpy little top showing her midriff. She is very thin, and the jeans looked sprayed on while the top appeared to belong to a teenager. I was stunned and too embarrassed to introduce her to others.

Greta has very nice clothes that she wears to church and other functions. What she wore to this funeral would have been inappropriate for anyone at any age, but it struck me as particularly inappropriate for a woman of 73.

Greta is very healthy, does not suffer from dementia, is active in her church and community and has a great husband and family, so it is a mystery why she would wear such clothes. Other relatives told me that Greta has dressed this way at funerals they have attended in the past.

I don’t mean to sound judgmental. I love my aunt and she is a good person. Should I approach her about this sensitive subject? Stunned Relative

Dear Relative: Apparently, this get-up is Greta’s funeral outfit. You may be wrong about dementia, and you could try explaining nicely that such inappropriate clothing makes her look foolish and is disrespectful to the deceased’s family, but it probably won’t help. It could be Greta’s way of defying death or it might simply be a desperate grab for attention, but unless someone laughs in her face, she will interpret your criticism as jealousy. Leave her alone.

Dear Annie: I have been a widow since 1965 and am living the life I choose to live, exactly the way I choose it to be. Yes, I had a lot of adjusting to do over the years, attended many seminars, and still read and learn from metaphysical books. I radiate my beliefs and attract like-minded people. I am truly blessed.

I am just passing on to your readers that when asked something you don’t want to answer, always respond with a question. Say, “Why do you ask?” Then change the subject by asking those people about themselves. People love to talk about themselves.

The main thing I have learned over the years is to be true to yourself, abide by The Golden Rule, and live and let live. If you try too hard to please others, you will lose yourself.

There are many self-help groups out there today, thank God, and I appreciate your column for connecting people to many of them. As Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Dr. Tish in Las Vegas

Dear Dr. Tish: What a wonderful philosophy. Thanks for your words of wisdom and the kind compliment.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Aging with Dignity,” who said an old acquaintance was poking fun at her husband’s bald head. Were her comments intended to be humorous or meant to hurt? That dictates how to handle the situation.

Her husband can defuse anything hurtful by poking fun at himself. He could rub his hand over his head and state how much money he saves on haircuts. My dad used to say he couldn’t have both hair and brains. PMC

XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

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