Afraid he'll take kids and not come back

Dear Annie: I have two older brothers. One recently died and the other is strange beyond words. "Dennis" has been married several times and is a father and grandfather. However, he is estranged from all his children. Worse, the rest of us are not allowed to have his grandchildren over because their parents fear we would allow Dennis to see the kids.
Dennis' children won't tell us what happened to cause such animosity, but we have our suspicions. Two years ago, Dennis was supposed to take my children for ice cream, and he left town with them and returned six hours later. I was frantic.
The problem now is that Dennis insists our late brother's grandchildren call him "Grandpa." He dropped by with these children, and when the 7-year-old called him "Uncle," Dennis yelled at him, saying, "I am your grandfather! Remember that!"
Later, I called my nephew and asked if he was aware of the situation. He was not, and also did not know his kids had left the area with Dennis. They came home well after midnight on a school night.
I told my nephew that Dennis forcing the kids to call him "Grandpa" is an insult to his father. He says it is not. And he still allows Dennis to take the kids for "rides." We are so afraid Dennis is going to drive off and not come back. I don't think I can stay out of this because I fear for the safety of those children. What can I do? Concerned Aunt in California
Dear Aunt: We don't blame you for worrying, although Dennis does return the children, albeit later than expected. Dennis has a few screws loose, but if your nephew has no objection to Dennis' field trips, and doesn't mind about the "Grandpa" business, there isn't much you can do. Can you speak to the children's mother? We hope she will take this more seriously than your nephew.
Dear Annie: I am an average boy in seventh grade. I have several friends, and one of them is my cousin, "Bruce," who is a couple grades younger than me. My problem is that he is always laughing at anything I do wrong.
We have been friends since our youngest days, and I have withstood his mocking until now, but my tolerance has snapped. When Bruce laughs, he does it for a reaction. I would laugh along with him if it were just for fun, but that is not the case. Please give me your opinion. Harried in Southern California
Dear Harried: We think Bruce is jealous of living in your shadow and is asserting himself by dragging you down. Ignore him politely. Bruce is two years younger, and he's obviously too immature to be hanging around you. Save your friendship for when the family gets together, and use your school time for friends your own age.
Dear Annie: You told "Perplexed" he was not wrong to assume the host of a birthday party is picking up the tab for the entire group. Maybe so, but the trend these days is the exact opposite.
I always assume I'm paying my own tab, or worse, paying my own and also chipping in to pay for the host's dinner as well. Some folks try to keep the costs down by ordering a salad, only to discover they are expected to split an equal share of the bill with folks who had a three-course meal and a couple of drinks.
When my husband threw a surprise birthday for me at an upscale restaurant, he paid the tab for everyone. One friend tried to slip him some cash, but he absolutely refused. Most folks seem not to understand this concept. Been There in Tallahassee, Fla.
Dear Been There: We agree. We know asking guests to pay is a newer trend, but it comes from ignorance and greed, and we have no intention of giving it our seal of approval just because it's common. It's still wrong.
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