She should never let 'Wilbur' come back

Dear Annie: I've always considered myself to be levelheaded, but somehow I've ended up in a four-year relationship with a man I suspect is a sociopath.
At the beginning of our relationship, "Wilbur" bragged that he'd cheated on every woman he'd ever been with. He insisted he had changed, and I trusted him. Of course, he hasn't changed at all. He's cheated on me at least three times that I know of. He's never apologized, and has left me and my children (who adore him) repeatedly without a word of warning.
Every time Wilbur leaves, a month or two goes by and he gets in touch again. I desperately want to believe he really loves us, so I take him back. Then I'm supposed to act like nothing's happened. If I hold him accountable, he calls me a lot of nasty names and puts me down.
Wilbur moved in with us last Christmas, and it's been a nightmare. The other night, Wilbur blew his top over something petty and said he's had it and is leaving at the end of the month. In the meantime, he's been searching the Internet for a new sex partner. He made a point of rubbing my nose in it.
Wilbur has paid half the utilities for the month, so he thinks he's entitled to stay. He was fired from his job, so while I'm at work, I have no way of protecting my belongings from being stolen or vandalized. He's done that before.
I'm a wreck. I don't feel anything merits a call to the police, but I also don't feel my home is safe. I know I got myself into this mess, but how do I get out without things getting really ugly? Lost in the U.S.
Dear Lost: Can you have someone house-sit while you are at work? Can you lock up your valuables? Can you take time off work at the end of the month? At the very least, if Wilbur takes or ruins your things, be sure to file a police report so there is a record. Change the locks once he's out. And under no circumstances should you allow Wilbur back into your life. Ever.
Dear Annie: At the age of 61, I met a wonderful woman (also 61) I'll call "Sharon." She was slim and shapely, and I was immediately attracted to her. Eight years after we married, Sharon is no longer slim, shapely or attractive. As a result, I am rarely interested in having sex with her and spend a fair amount of time daydreaming about other women. I only initiate sex with Sharon while we are in bed, in the dark, so I cannot see her.
I feel guilty, but haven't a clue what to do. Sharon doesn't complain about our lack of intimacy. Is something wrong with me? Richard in Phoenix
Dear Richard: You married Sharon because she looked sexy, but looks change. (Haven't yours?) Successful marriages rely on being attracted to someone's personality, sense of humor, kindness, common interests, shared values, etc., and those things should be at least as important as the physical attraction. In your case, they aren't. It won't help to do nothing and be miserable. Suggest counseling to Sharon, saying you would like to work on some issues. If she won't go, go without her.
Dear Annie: May I respond to "Angry Father," whose son and daughter-in- law have rejected him? We bent over backward to please our daughter-in-law, but it didn't help. I finally brought it up to my son, and we had an argument. The things he said were reprehensible, not to mention untrue. Now we are estranged and, of course, we are not allowed to see our grandchildren.
"Angry" is not going to change his daughter-in-law, regardless of what he does, and if his son does not have any backbone now, he probably never will. We know where we stand, even if it is without them. Resigned Mother
Dear Resigned: How sad -- especially for your grandchildren, who will lose out on the joys of knowing loving grandparents.
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