Reckless behavior worries family

Dear Annie: Since high school, my 24-year-old sister, "Krystal," has chatted with male strangers via the Internet. Krystal is secretive and lies about her activities. While academically intelligent, she seemingly possesses little common sense and is totally naive. She hopes to form relationships with these men. She trusts them immediately, tells them everything and believes everything they tell her. If the conversations don't lead anywhere, she immediately latches onto another guy.
Despite the many news stories of similar scenarios that often end tragically, Krystal is more than willing to meet these guys in person. She sees no danger in her activities and is determined to continue.
Krystal won't listen to any family members. She says she's an adult and can do as she pleases. She's not interested in counseling. Her reckless behavior is weighing heavily on those of us who genuinely care about her. Is her story destined to have a tragic ending? Seeking Your Advice
Dear Seeking: Not necessarily. Does Krystal meet these men in public places? Is she finding them through reputable online dating sites? Does she tell a friend whom she is seeing and where? Any of these things will help.
Krystal is right that she is an adult, and there isn't much you can do about her reckless behavior, which no doubt includes some rebellion against her worried family. Instead, tell her you love her and want her to be safe, and if she chooses to meet men in this fashion, fine, but you hope she is taking sensible precautions.
Dear Annie: For the last couple of years, my sister-in-law (who lives in another state) has e-mailed us a "Christmas wish list" for her children. I find it quite offensive. It's as if she's saying, "We never liked anything you sent before, so please get it right this time."
Adding insult to injury is the fact that she never reciprocates in any manner, not even with a Christmas card. Only recently did her children grasp the concept of a thank-you note, which, by the way, is written by the parents. We always remember the children's birthdays as well, and take the time to send nice gifts, even though there rarely is any acknowledgment.
Since we are childless, I wonder if this sister-in-law thinks our lives are so empty, we have nothing to do but spend our hard-earned money on her children. I still believe it is better to give than receive, but this rudeness really puts a damper on my Christmas spirit. What should I do? Reluctant Gift Horse
Dear Reluctant: We think you should send whatever you want. A "wish list" is just that -- wishes. You are under no obligation to use it, just as you are not obligated to send gifts to those who do not acknowledge them. Since this is family, you might look for ways to warm up the relationship. It sounds distant in more ways than one, which can lead to misunderstandings.
Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from "Mostly Just Annoyed," who said the neighbor's cat clawed screens and tried to get into the house. You suggested talking to the neighbor or calling the Humane Society.
The simplest solution would be to fill an ordinary squirt bottle with water and give the miscreant a shot of water. Cats hate getting wet and learn quickly which activities will not be tolerated. It won't hurt the cat and completely avoids a confrontation with neighbors. Our cat, Gus, will immediately stop an activity when he merely hears the water being shaken. Happy Cat Owner in Jax'ville, Fla.
Dear Cat Owner: That works if you see the cat. In the past, readers have suggested using spray bottles filled with food coloring, hanging a cloth with coyote urine on it and scattering ground orange peels on the lawn. We hope one of those will do the trick.
Creators Syndicate
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