'Ginny' enraged by late-night kiss

Dear Annie: I have (or had) a friend whom I loved and considered a sister. "Ginny" and I talked several times a week, attended art fairs together, and I was there for her when her husband went through a long bout with cancer and eventually died.
Last New Year's Eve, Ginny invited us to a party, but my husband and I had other plans and couldn't make it. As we were driving past Ginny's house on our way home, we decided to stop in. It was after midnight and Ginny had gone to bed, but we wanted to wish her a Happy New Year. Her brother let us in, and I peeked in her bedroom door and saw that she was covered up to her neck. We went in, kissed her on the forehead, told her Happy New Year and then left. The next morning, her brother had to tell her we'd been there, because she was so out of it, she didn't realize we'd stopped by.
The next day, Ginny left a message on our answering machine telling me that this was the worst thing I had ever done. She called me a drunk, even though my husband and I had stopped drinking several hours before, as we had a long drive home. She was cursing left and right and said not to call her back.
It is now November and I get more depressed every day knowing Ginny dropped our friendship so quickly and easily. In the past 10 months, I've left one message on her machine, apologizing, and I wrote her an e-mail, saying I hope she can forgive me and that I will always be her friend, waiting for her call.
After all this time, I now feel more resentment than remorse. Most people I've mentioned it to say I didn't do anything wrong. Is there anything else I can do? I miss her every day. Sad Friend in Indy
Dear Indy: It's a little creepy that you entered Ginny's bedroom while she was sleeping, even to give her a kiss. However, this is a long time to hold a grudge against someone who is "like a sister." It's possible Ginny's brother embellished the incident in a way that made her question the friendship, or that Ginny didn't feel as close to you as you thought. We say give it one more try. Apologize again, tell her you miss her, and ask if you can start over.
Dear Annie: I recently held a bridal shower for my daughter, "Kitty," and invited friends who are very dear to me. Kitty received many lovely gifts, including generous checks. When she went to the bank to cash the checks, one bounced. My daughter is very angry about this and wants me to confront this person, a very good friend. I refuse, and now Kitty is mad at me.
This friend has been struggling financially, and I know her well enough to realize this was totally unintentional. I will not reproach her. I'm willing to tear up the check and send her a thank-you note anyway. What do I do? Bride's Mother
Dear Mother: No one should be chastised for giving an inadequate gift. It's a gift, not an obligation. Your friend will find out from her bank that the check bounced. She can then determine if she is able to replace it. Either way, she should be sent a thank-you note for attending the shower -- and Kitty should be the one to write it. (We hope one of your guests gave Kitty a book on manners. She needs it.)
Dear Annie: I have never written to a column before, but the letter from "On the Back Burner" jumped out at me. His wife, "Carlene," did things with her family that didn't include him.
My ex was like that during our marriage, and I was the last to find out why. Even our kids knew she was having an affair. "Back Burner's" wife might be seeing another man, so he should insist on going along to these "family affairs." C.T.
Dear C.T.: Your letter wasn't the only one suggesting the wife may be having an affair while using her family events as cover. He should check it out.
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