Annie's Mailbox Child's poem fits day

Dear Readers: Today is Memorial Day. Here is a poem that a thoughtful reader sent to us. It was written in 2001 by Ali M., a talented third-grader at Academy Elementary School in Madison, Conn., and expresses the sentiments of the day beautifully:
"As the flowers rest on the decorated graves and the sunlight shines on the beautiful sailboats, Uncle Sam whispers in my ear about how we should care for the soldiers and remember the ones that have died. Swimming pools open, BBQs fry. Today is the day to think of what they have done for us. There are blurs of red, white and blue marching down the street and flags are lowered at half-mast. But we should always remember and never forget what set us free, from this very day on."
Dear Annie: My son's mother and I broke up more than four years ago, when he was an infant. My son is now 5 years old. Unfortunately, I have heard my son tell his friends and others some very bad things about me. The verbal poisoning from his mother is getting worse. Almost every time I see him, I hear something new or he tells me about the horrible things he was told I did to his mother.
Up until now I have answered him by saying, "I am sorry you had to hear that, but let's move on." However, I am concerned if I do not respond to his comments, he will have no choice but to believe the terrible things she (and possibly her family) are saying about me.
I realize I have no control over what my ex says, but I am sure this poison can be very damaging to a child in the long run. How do I respond to my son without being derogatory toward his mother? The High Road Is a Lonely Place
Dear High Road: Try diplomacy first. Talk to your ex-wife and explain what you are hearing from your son. Tell her you understand that she holds a grudge, but such comments undermine your child's emotional stability and security. Ask her to cease and desist for his sake. If this doesn't work, we recommend family counseling for you and your son, and if possible, include your ex. Sometimes an unbiased third party can work through these destructive behavior patterns.
Lastly, there is nothing wrong with telling your son, "Mommy sometimes says angry things because she is unhappy that our family isn't together anymore. I am very sorry that Mommy is unhappy, but I want you to know how much I love you." This says nothing derogatory about Mom, but does reassure your son about your feelings for him -- and that is what counts.
Dear Annie: My friend, "Irma," is dating "Floyd," a man she cares for deeply. About a month ago, I was talking to her and Floyd got on the phone. He was quite crude and graphic about what he was going to do with her in the bedroom, and what a nymph she is. He continued, saying if he and Irma ever broke up, and if I was lucky, he would do the same to me.
I told Irma this was offensive to me and disrespectful to her. I said Floyd owes both of us an apology. Irma, however, thinks his comments were perfectly fine, because he was joking around. I don't understand why Irma believes it's OK for her boyfriend to speak of her as if she's a common tart. What do you say? Concerned for My Friend
Dear Concerned: Floyd sounds a little immature to us. Irma may like Floyd's filthy mouth, or she may put up with it because she likes Floyd, but either way, it's not your business. Don't demand an apology. You won't get it, and it will force Irma to defend her slimy boyfriend. Limit your time around him, and if he talks dirty to you on the phone again, hang up.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
Creators Syndicate