Dad's trying hard to teach Brendan a lesson

Dear Annie: I have a 16-year-old son whom I love very much. I have been divorced from his mother for eight years, remarried for the last six. "Brendan" lives with his mother in the same city, so I see him a lot.
We had a good relationship until recently. I told Brendan I would give him a car and pay for the insurance if he kept his grades up. He agreed. His first report card, he got a D in one subject. The car stayed at my house. Four weeks later, he got another D on his midterm.
The day after he received his grades, Brendan gave my wife and me a very impressive presentation, with charts and everything. He promised to work hard, do extra credit and show us his test scores every week. We caved and let him have the car. Well, he had an excuse every week why he didn't have his test scores. When his grades came, he had two Ds.
I told Brendan to bring back the car, and he said I needed to talk to his mom, my ex. Naturally, she took his side and wanted the car to stay at her house, and didn't care that Brendan and I had an agreement. The car is now back at my place, but Brendan is angry with me, and my ex is probably going to buy him a car.
I want my son to learn that there are consequences for being irresponsible. Am I wrong? Worried Dad
Dear Dad: You are not wrong. A car is a privilege, not a right, no matter what some kids think. You kept your end of the bargain, and if his mother buys him a Porsche, let it be her problem. Your ex is teaching Brendan that he doesn't have to work for anything and that it's OK to renege on agreements. We hope you will keep trying to teach him otherwise, Dad.
Dear Annie: I have been dating "Rich" for nearly 16 years. We each have grown, married children. He has his own place, and I have mine. However, he said he would look for a place on the lake where we could retire together. He found the most beautiful house on the water, but it is not big enough for even a small portion of my things.
Rich used to pressure me to marry him when we first met, but I wasn't interested. I think he truly cares for me, but now I've reached a crossroads. Should I insist that we get married or just move on? Irene in Louisiana
Dear Irene: You're willing to break up with Rich because you can't fit your furniture into the lake house? Rich may be delighted to marry you, but you've given him the impression that you are content as is, and after 16 years, he's not going to propose unless you ask him to. Decide what you want from this relationship, even if it means donating your living room set to charity.
Dear Annie: I have another explanation for the man who sleeps all weekend. Back in the 1980s, my husband and I would take our motorcycles on Friday for a "pie and coffee run" and return very late. We would eat a thick cinnamon roll or a cherry cobbler. The infusion of that much sugar in a short period of time drove my blood sugar down to a count of 45. (At 40, you are in a coma.) I would go home, crawl into bed and not wake up until Monday morning.
Tell that man to have his doctor do a five-hour blood sugar test to see if hypoglycemia is the reason he sleeps like a log for 48 hours. I would never have believed it if it hadn't happened to me. Hemet, Calif.
Dear Hemet: Thanks for the tip. Another reason to stay away from the high-sugar treats, no matter how yummy.
E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
Creators Syndicate
Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.