Behavior of Mike irks wife

Dear Annie: Several years ago, I found photographs of soft porn that my husband, "Mike," had downloaded to our computer. I was upset about it, especially since we have two sons who were then at impressionable ages. I told Mike I would not stand for this, and he deleted the pictures. Three years ago, I inadvertently discovered that Mike was making arrangements online to find women to date. It nearly ended our marriage, but we sought counseling and resolved many of our problems. We are still together, but at times, I do not totally trust him.
Last summer, we took a trip to California. Mike attended a motorcycle race while I did some touring. He took many photographs, including half a dozen of the back of an attractive woman who was wearing tight pants. She was a total stranger.
I told Mike that taking pictures of strange women is perverted and I am getting tired of his behavior. He thinks that he is just a regular guy. I agree it's normal to check out attractive people from time to time, but I think he goes beyond normal.
Mike is 58, and I am 53. I am not as young as I once was, but I watch my weight, exercise and do not scare small children. All this porn makes me feel somehow inadequate.
I think Mike is shallow in this regard, but he is otherwise a good husband. Do you have any advice? Wondering
Dear Wondering: Mike has an immature, adolescent fascination with women's bodies. It's not uncommon, but it also is not acceptable for a married man to look for online dates, overload on porn or take multiple photographs of unknown women (this is frightening to the women involved).
You've been married a long time, and you have two children. Mike isn't likely to grow up anytime soon, so you must determine if the "otherwise a good husband" part is sufficient. If you aren't sure, more counseling might help you decide.
Dear Annie: My son is getting married in November. As the groom's parents, we assumed the cost of the tuxes for the groomsmen was on us, but the bride-to-be says the groomsmen should pay for their own attire, and the money we would have spent on tuxes should be given to the bridal couple to help pay for the reception.
This is our first child to marry, and we are in uncharted waters. What are we supposed to pay for? Midwest Mom
Dear Mom: You are not obligated to pay for the groomsmen's tuxes. According to Emily Post, the groom and his parents are obligated to pay for the rehearsal dinner and the minister, but not the reception. However, none of this is written in concrete.
Often, the groom's side will pick up the tab for the liquor and/or the band, and sometimes, everything is split right down the middle. In other instances, the bridal couple pays for the entire shindig without any help from Mom and Dad. You need to discuss the financial arrangements with your son, his bride and her parents before someone's expectations get out of hand.
Dear Annie: I laughed when I read the letter from the woman who is blessed to be carrying her third daughter. My husband and I also have three wonderful girls.
While pregnant with our third child, we attended a family event where my husband was teased with comments like, "This one has to be a boy," and "You need to do your part to carry on the family name." My husband is normally very easygoing, but finally had enough. He put an end to the comments with his emphatic, "I like my girls! When you do something well, you keep at it!" G.
Dear G.: Good for him. We like to see parents stick up for their children.
E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
Creators Syndicate
Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.