KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Military dad is too harsh on daughter's date

Dear Annie: I am a retired naval officer. Two weeks ago, my 16-year-old daughter had a date with a young man I had never met. My wife, a teacher at the school, said he was a good kid.
When the young man showed up to get my daughter, he sat in the car and honked the horn (Strike 1). I went out and told him she was not ready, and he should come in the house. He did, and then proceeded to call my wife by her first name (Strike 2). When he tried the same with me, I very sternly said, "You can call me 'Sir."' Finally, when my daughter came down, he blurted, "It's about time" (Strike 3). At this, I blew my stack.
In military fashion, an inch from his face and speaking loudly, I proceeded to tell him that I will not allow anyone to come in my house and treat my family this way. I grabbed his coat and threw it outside and informed him that unless he also wanted to end up on the ground, he would walk out and never see my daughter again.
My daughter cried, as expected, but my wife has not spoken to me in two weeks. She says this is the way kids are now and I should remember that I no longer wear a uniform. She thinks I owe "Junior" an apology. I told her he owes our family an apology for his lack of respect.
Tell me, Annie, was I wrong? My wife and I will do whatever you say. Lost in Laingsburg
Dear Lost: Your disciplinary tactics are too harsh for civilians. Such severity may keep all young men at bay, and while it could protect your daughter's chastity, it also will isolate her from normal socializing. She needs to learn how to manage these young men on her own, so that she will be prepared for adult relationships.
Your daughter should have known your "date fitness" requirements in advance. It's OK to say that you did not like the boy's attitude and let her tell him to be more respectful, or even calmly explain the rules to the boy yourself. But you should not have gotten in his face. Still, we don't believe you owe him an apology or vice versa, although you might apologize to your daughter for throwing her date out the door.
Dear Annie: I have a friend, "Delia," who likes to table hop when we go out to lunch or dinner. She eats her meal and then gets up from our table to go visit a friend at another table. Sometimes, if there are lots of people she knows, she will visit all of them, and I end up eating alone. Am I wrong to resent this? How do I handle it? Dining Solo
Dear Solo: Delia is extremely rude to leave you alone. Saying hello to friends at a restaurant is fine if it's brief, and preferably done on your way in or out. Tell Delia how you feel. Then, if she abandons you again, get up and say sweetly, "You are obviously busy, so we'll do dinner another time." Give her a friendly wave and leave.
Dear Annie: I am responding to "Midwest," who wanted to know if she should tell her cousin that she has halitosis. Believe me, she knows.
I inherited this strong sulfur "body chemistry" from a parent. My doctors are sympathetic, but all have ruled out any treatable cause. I realize it is difficult for people to be around me, so I am a good telephone and computer friend. Driving with me is not for the faint of heart. I have often received gifts of mouthwash from well-meaning friends. No one can imagine the pain this has caused.
It gives me some peace if people keep their distance, and it always amazes me that some folks will get so close that I must retreat. I hope for newer, better treatments, but I am still waiting. Anonymous
Dear Anonymous: We'll be hoping, too.
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