KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Children should have chores at dad's

Dear Annie: My husband has twin 9-year-old girls. When they stay with us on weekends, my husband insists we wait on them hand and foot. I am infuriated by this, but my husband enjoys it.
He delivers their breakfast while they watch cartoons. They have no chores and never help. They insist on eating nothing but pizza, hot dogs or macaroni and cheese. For Christmas we had to cook macaroni and cheese for them, even when we went to someone else's house.
My husband gets upset with me when I ask the girls to help set the table or pick up their toys. He says they are guests in our home and shouldn't have to lift a finger. I feel these children are being babied way too much. Is this normal? Boston
Dear Boston: Daddy obviously has a lot of guilt about the divorce, but he is not helping his daughters by indulging them or siding with them against you. They are not guests in your home. They live there every weekend and should be doing the same chores they do at their mother's. They also must see you and Dad as a united front.
This situation will get worse if it is not addressed immediately. Please ask your husband to come with you for family counseling, and also contact the Stepfamily Association of America (saafamilies.org).
Dear Annie: After reading the letter from "Missing Him Now," it occurred to me that you should conduct a poll. Women have tons of excuses for not having sex with their husbands, everything from headaches to "he's too fat." It's like the man who asked a farmer if he could borrow his rope. The farmer refused, saying he needed the rope to tie up his milk. The man said, "You can't tie up milk with a rope." The farmer replied, "Yes, but when you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another."
Please ask women their reasons for not having sex. It would be great to see some of the lame excuses they come up with. Bossier City, La.
Dear Bossier City: You sound like the recipient of many of those excuses. So, OK, we'll do it. Readers, what are some of the excuses you've used (or have heard) to avoid sex with your spouse -- male or female? We'll print the best ones.
Dear Annie: Every time I read letters from the poor put-upon folks crying about their terrible mothers-in-law, it makes me want to scream from the mountaintops about the beautiful woman who is such a blessing in my life.
For 40 years, we have been a family in the true sense of the word. My partner's mother is a generous, kind, loving woman, now in her late 80s. Someone should write her life story. When she was 12, her mother died, and Mom worked on a farm for her room and board. Later she picked cotton and fruit. She and her husband lived in a tent when she gave birth to the man I love.
We are proud and grateful to be with her and to share in her memories, no matter how many times she remembers them. We live every day basking in her warmth and her wonderful sense of humor, such as the time she attempted to make a phone call with the TV remote, or woke up terrified that she had gone blind, only to realize her sleep cap had slipped over her eyes.
She always thought I was the perfect man to make her son happy. We try to make her life easy now because she deserves it. Missouri Man
Dear Missouri: You and your partner are fortunate to have this loving, open-minded woman in your lives. We hope you will show her this tribute and tell her you wrote it. She'll be thrilled.
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