ANNIE'S MAILBOX Don't destroy marriage over hyperactive dog

Dear Annie: I have been married to "Jack" for three years. One month into our marriage, we adopted a dog from the pound -- an adorable, rather hyperactive 6-month-old mixed breed we named Heidi.
Since then, we have struggled with Heidi. She is a very loving dog, but her temperament is hard to keep in check, although she's much better than she used to be. We have taken Heidi to obedience classes, and she is able to follow directions as long as she is not distracted by people or other dogs.
The problem is, Jack has had a difficult time adjusting to Heidi, especially since we bought a house 18 months ago. Heidi's nails, whether trimmed or not, scratch our new hardwood floors, the deck he built with his father and the wooden fence that Jack put in himself. He worries about adding landscaping in the backyard for fear that Heidi will "just ruin that, too." Furthermore, Jack is tired of seeing Heidi's large crate sitting in our tiny living room because there is nowhere else to put it. He does not like having guests over because Heidi gets too excited.
Jack wants to find Heidi a new home. He is not willing to go through more training, and he does not want to cover the hardwood floors with carpet or make other accommodations for Heidi's behavior.
But, Annie, I have become very attached to Heidi. I am stressed out about Jack and Heidi, and if Jack insists on sending Heidi to a new home, I will be bitter and upset. I know Jack doesn't want to cause me grief, but he simply cannot manage Heidi anymore.
How did a dog become my marriage's biggest stress point? How do I resolve this? Cornered in California
Dear Cornered: If you force Jack to keep Heidi, he will resent both you and the dog. This also would be unfair to Heidi, who deserves a home where she is wanted by the entire family. We know you love her, but she should not become more important than your marriage. Please find her a new, loving home. Soon.
Dear Annie: I was appalled by the letter from "No Room," whose daughter- in-law made her sit in the kitchen while everyone else ate in the dining room. You should have told her the Brothers Grimm tale: An old man lived with his married son, but as Grandpa became more and more feeble, his table manners worsened, and he could not hold onto the dishes. Finally, the son and daughter- in-law moved him to a small table in a corner where he would eat by himself from a wooden bowl.
Soon, the little grandson began collecting wood scraps. When asked by his father what he was doing, the boy replied, "I'm making a wooden bowl for you and Mother, so you can eat by yourselves in the corner someday when I get big."
That daughter-in-law should be reminded that what goes around comes around. R. in the Midwest
Dear R.: Hundreds of other readers wrote with the same sentiments. Children learn what they see, and we hope all parents are paying attention.
Dear Annie: National Nurses Week begins today. I have been privileged to be a bedside RN for the last 27 years, but many of my younger co-workers have aspirations to become nurse anesthetists and nurse practitioners. Of course, we need those nurses, too, but I am concerned about the shortage of bedside nurses.
Very few new nurses want this career. If you know of someone who would like to become a nurse, please encourage them. If you are able to develop a grant or scholarship program for those who need financial assistance to pursue their dreams, please do so. This would be a wonderful tribute to any nurse who has touched you or a loved one. Bedside Nurse and Proud of It
Dear Bedside Nurse: Bedside nurses are a special breed. We would also like to take this opportunity to recognize all nurses for their compassion and TLC.
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