Icy steps pave way to cold war of friends

Dear Annie: My husband and I recently spent two nights at the home of his best friend, "Bob," and Bob's wife, "Mary." We slept in a nice, private, heated room above the garage. We've done this before, and it's always worked out great.
On the second night of our stay, the weather turned icy. Since the entrance to our sleeping quarters involved climbing 14 treacherous outdoor steps, Mary decided we should sleep in her bedroom. (She and her husband have separate rooms.) Their house also has a sofa bed, however, and I thought it would be better to sleep there rather than remove Mary from her room. We eventually agreed on that.
Later, Mary told us she wanted us to sleep in her bedroom because it was more private. I told her I couldn't possibly do that. I said my mother raised me not to intrude on someone else's personal space. She insisted it was more convenient because she didn't want to tiptoe around the sofa bed in the morning. I refused.
Finally, Mary said she'd never felt so insulted and was upset because I kept using the word "personal" as if there was something dirty about her bedroom, or she had a hygiene problem or something. I, in turn, couldn't understand why she kept insisting we sleep in her bed when we'd already made up the sofa bed.
Mary stomped off to her husband's room, and my husband and I slept on the sofa bed. The next morning we left early. I thought not speaking to them would give us both time to cool off, but it's now a week later, and there are still hurt feelings.
I was trying to be a polite guest in her house and did not want to put her to any trouble. Was she wrong to insist on the bedroom? Runaround Sue
Dear Sue: You were both wrong. Mary should not have insisted that you use her bedroom knowing that you were uncomfortable doing so. You, on the other hand, tried too hard to be considerate and ended up being a pain in the neck. Leaving without speaking compounded the problem. Call or write Mary and apologize. Tell her you would not want this minor tiff to wreck a beautiful friendship and you'd like to pretend it never happened. And do it soon.
Dear Annie: Six years ago, I bought a computer thinking it would help me keep in contact with family and friends. But ever since I gave out my e-mail address, I have been bombarded with tons of jokes, which I have come to detest.
I don't need a computer for work, and I don't like endless games of Solitaire, so if I want to read jokes, I will cancel my Internet service, renew my library card and save $22 a month. If my friends and family want to talk, they can phone or meet me for lunch. Do others feel this way, or am I just Weird in Indiana?
Dear Indiana: You are not alone, trust us, although we'd take easy-to-delete joke collections over chain letters that make you feel guilty if you don't send them on to 10 of your friends. You should ask regular offenders to take you off their group mailing lists and stop forwarding stuff you have neither the time nor inclination to read. You also can block the e-mails of those who refuse to honor your request.
Dear Annie: In response to "A Discarded Wife," you helpfully mentioned that she should contact her local YWCA or state Department of Labor for job counseling and other assistance for displaced homemakers.
Community colleges are often-overlooked resources that not only provide affordable access to associate degrees and certificate programs, but many also offer career counseling and other support services. Often our most successful students are those who seek a life change, and we are there to help them find a new path. Debra Crawford, Director of Public Information, Colorado Mountain College, Glenwood Springs, Colo.
Creators Syndicate
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