Husband's thumb sucking troubles wife

Dear Annie: My husband sucks his thumb. He does this when sleeping, watching TV or playing computer games, but only if he doesn't think he can be seen. He'll stop abruptly if I walk into the room.
We've never really talked about it, and frankly, I am embarrassed for him. I think this must be the result of really low self-esteem. I know he experienced some childhood trauma -- his father was abusive and abandoned the family. Also, one of his siblings died young.
Do you think he has unresolved childhood issues? I've never known an adult who still sucks his thumb. What can I do -- or better yet, what can he do? Baffled in the Northeast
Dear Baffled: Your husband may have started thumb-sucking to provide comfort, but now it is simply a habit that is hard to shake. You can bring up the subject and ask him if he wants to stop. There are techniques that will help. But if he enjoys this and wants to continue, leave it alone. He doesn't do it in public, and it harms no one.
Dear Annie: I am a 25-year-old successful woman who has never given a second thought to marrying anyone. I was never interested. I've had my share of intimate relationships, but nothing I considered serious. Now I am at the point where I am ready to settle down.
I think I have found my prince. He's 23, very supportive and caring, and I think he's "the one." Here's the problem: He has diabetes and says it sometimes causes erectile dysfunction. What can I do to make this relationship work without eventually cheating on him? Sexless in Seattle
Dear Seattle: Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common diabetes-related problem. We assume your boyfriend has seen his doctor and perhaps spoken to a urologist.
Sexual satisfaction in a marriage can be achieved, even with ED, if both parties are willing. Also, there should be other factors in your relationship that are more important than sex, and for which you love him regardless. If there aren't, he is not "the one" for you.
Dear Annie: May I add my thoughts on whether being told you're fat is out of line or offensive?
I am 5 feet 9, and have been overweight most of my adult life, at one point getting close to 300 pounds. I wasn't just overweight -- I was fat.
At the end of 2002, I went into a neighborhood store where I knew the owner, an outspoken but likable guy. He came up to talk and during our conversation, he leaned in close and said, "You know, Bill, you really don't look good at that weight."
Was I offended? No. I realized he was just telling me what I already knew. It turned out to be just the kick in the butt I needed. That January, I joined Weight Watchers. Through diet and a regular walking routine, I have lost 103 pounds, and I have maintained my weight to this date. I went from a size 50" waist to a size 38".
I send that owner a thank-you note each January and plan on sending many more. I guarantee weighing 179 pounds is a lot more fun. As we say in Weight Watchers, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I'm so proud, once I start talking, it is hard to stop. Bill in Memphis
Dear Bill: Although you took your friend's comment as a welcome "kick in the butt," many overweight people would take it a little differently. Congratulations on the new, healthier you. You have every right to be proud.
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