KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Meager quarters means smaller payments

Dear Annie: I am a college student who has found living off campus to be far cheaper than living in a dorm. I live in a five-bedroom house with five other girls. I share a room with "Jane," and the other four girls have their own rooms.
We have been talking to other students who share rooms and realize that many are paying a much smaller share. Jane and I have considered approaching our other roommates about this, but we don't know how much less we should be paying.
What is an appropriate way to split the cost of housing if four have their own rooms and two are sharing? Any suggestions? Cramped and Poor in Ohio
Dear Ohio: Absolutely you should be paying less, but how much depends on other factors. Is your bedroom larger than the others? Do you have closet space for two? If your bedroom is the equivalent size of two smaller ones, plus extra closet space, you should be paying only slightly less for the inconvenience of sharing. However, if the rooms are equal-sized, your rent cut should be substantial. Talk to your other roommates and work out what's fair.
Dear Annie: My mother recently turned 80. My four siblings and I asked her permission to throw a small intimate dinner in celebration, and she agreed, specifying that she wanted nothing elaborate.
My youngest sister, "Kate," has the only home large enough to accommodate the gathering, so she took charge of the planning. It quickly turned into an expensive sit-down dinner. My wife and I live month-to-month with little money to spare. When my younger brother said he couldn't afford this either, Kate and "Louise," another sibling, began bashing him verbally in his presence, and later, behind his back.
When I asked if I could do anything to help with the preparations in order to make up for not contributing as much money, I got the cold shoulder. They talked code in front of me. My wife did help with some decorations, and with the little money we had, we brought some of the food, but my sisters treated us horribly.
We showed up only for the sake of our mother. Kate and Louise barely spoke to me. They gave my mother a card signed by just the two of them, totally omitting those of us who did not share equally in the finances. I am terribly hurt, and they still refuse to talk to me. It has become such a stressful situation that I've chosen to distance myself from them. Should I have hawked my valuables to give my deserving mother this beautiful bash? Broke and Broken in Arizona
Dear Arizona: Of course not. We truly do not understand why some siblings find it necessary to plan lavish parties in order to show off their wealth and devotion at the expense of their brothers and sisters. In those families, sibling rivalry is alive and well, and there is little you can do about it.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Mrs. Jekyll-Hyde," whose husband has vicious temper tantrums a few times a year, stops speaking to her, and then snaps out of it. I suggest that her husband not only see a physician for neurological problems, but also a psychiatrist.
From what she describes, her husband may be suffering from some type of bipolar disorder. The fact that he only "blows up" a few times a year and then goes into a self-imposed isolation are classic signs. Medication can help level his moods and greatly improve the quality of life for both of them. B.T..
Dear B.T.: Several readers recognized the symptoms of bipolar disorder in this man and recommended seeking therapy. We hope "Mrs. Jekyll-Hyde" will talk to her husband about the possibility.
Creators Syndicate
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