Staying away from forbidden ancient flames

Dear Annie: Recently, an old boyfriend, who apparently is happily married, began e-mailing me after finding my name on a high school reunion Web site.
"Alex" and I spent one summer together before graduating. Other than some great kissing, we were never intimate (not for lack of interest). Toward the end of the summer, he talked about our marrying, but I said I was too young and not ready for that. It ended when he just quit calling.
A few years later, I married someone else, and we've been happy together. I'm not interested in resuming any romantic relationship with Alex, but I'm finding he has stirred up some conflicting emotions.
Back then, his walking away from our relationship without any explanation fed into my insecurities and left me feeling I could not trust my emotions or other people. I've spent many years trying to overcome that. His e-mails say he continues to think about me and often compares me favorably to others. I'm flattered. For a long time I felt unlovable and would not have believed he ever thought about me.
I've made it clear to Alex that nothing in our e-mails should make either of our spouses jealous. But I really want to ask him why he walked away from me all those years ago. I'd like to know what was wrong with me.
I'm on an emotional roller coaster knowing he cared enough to look me up, and wondering why I wasn't enough for him before. Any thoughts? Conflicted
Dear Conflicted: Yes. Stop. Years ago, you rejected Alex and he was hurt. He was too immature to figure out how to handle the relationship, so he let it fritter away. Now he is flattering you because he thinks you may be vulnerable to a flirtation (or more). If you start asking him questions about your ancient breakup, it will only confirm that you are interested. Don't go there.
Dear Annie: I recently received an e-mail inviting me to the baby shower of the wife of one of my husband's co-workers, along with the places she is registered. This is their second child together. The co-worker has three children from a previous marriage, and his wife has one.
I sent a generous gift, along with my regrets that I had a previous engagement. To my shock, I received the following e-mail from the mother-to-be, addressed to approximately nine of us:
"Hi, Everyone: Because so many people can't come to my shower, I've decided not to have it. My family members would rather spend the money on the baby than on a shower. Please don't take this the wrong way. I wasn't planning on having any more children, so I don't have anything. I am starting from scratch. Thank you."
Mind you, nowhere does it thank me for the gift. I feel this is extremely rude. Am I being judgmental? Partied Out in Lodi, Calif.
Dear Lodi: This was an open announcement that the shower had been canceled, tucked into a plea for gifts anyway. It was not a personal letter, so we hope you still get that thank-you note.
Dear Annie: Just another one for you to add to your "farmer" inventory. When I farmed, we had a year-round operation. Friends used to encourage me to take Sundays off. They said, "Even God rested one day." I pointed out that God never had to milk cows. John on the Internet
Dear John: Thanks for the farm humor. Our best to Elsie.
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