Neighbors feel they've been had by Doris' mom

Dear Annie: We live in a close-knit neighborhood. About 15 years ago, a family with a small child and a preschooler moved in. From the first week they arrived, the mother told us that "Doris," the preschooler, wouldn't live to see her 4th birthday since her heart didn't form correctly. Of course we were concerned and offered to help in any way. We treated Doris as "special."
Doris is now 19 years old, and every year of her life, all we've heard is, "Doris will not live six more months, three more months, etc., etc." Her mother made her death seem imminent. If she had a party for Doris, she would invite us and ask us to bring several cooked dishes, plus the meat. (She'd furnish the drinks.) After all, her hands were full caring for her deathly ill child.
We recently had a neighborhood cookout, and this family didn't attend, so the rest of us had a chance to discuss some of the stories Doris' mother has shared, and we realized she has told so many versions of misery and distress it's unreal. We feel like we've been taken. What should we do? The Neighbors
Dear Neighbors: Nothing. Doris could very well have been seriously ill at birth and only her mother's care and effort has helped her live this long. And, of course, it's also quite possible that Doris' mother simply craves attention and she's figured out this is a good way to get it.
If you had donated money to help with her daughter's medical bills, it could constitute fraud and there would be legal repercussions. Since all you've given her are cooked dishes, she's only taken advantage of your emotions and goodwill. If she mentions her daughter's imminent death again, let it pass, lest she come up with something new to gain your sympathy.
Dear Annie: I've been married to a wonderful man for nearly 47 years. "Rich" is kind, witty, responsible and marvelous company. We have traveled widely and have many friends. What could possibly be the problem, you might ask? Rich is the worst slob with food.
Rich prowls around the perfectly clean kitchen late at night, and in the morning, there is a huge mess, with French dressing smeared across the counters, mayonnaise and mustard all over the tiles, and sugar and butter coating the counter. His half-empty soft drink can is on the table. It looks like we had some wild party. When he cooks, he fries most everything, which adds a layer of splattered grease all over the stovetop. If he peels anything, the peelings end up on the floor.
I have cajoled, begged, threatened and quietly cleaned up. I have asked him to put newspapers down before he cooks. I even suggested we buy a small motor home so he can use that kitchen. I try not to be angry, but this morning I must have hit my tolerance level. I need some help. Ventura, Calif.
Dear Ventura: You could leave the mess and insist that Rich clean it up, or you could install a lock on the kitchen door and keep him out, but be realistic. He's a great guy. You've been married a long time. He's a slob, but at least he cooks and makes his own midnight snacks without waking you up. No one's perfect. If you can find a way to turn the other cheek to this aggravation, we think you should do it.
Dear Annie: You've printed several letters about body odor, but usually unmentioned, yet often very important, is flatulence. I'd like to point out that flatulence is generally because lactose intolerance, the inability to digest complex sugars in beans, excessive consumption of carbonated beverages, or certain nuts and other foodstuffs. For those with this problem, if your family physician cannot help, make an appointment with a gastroenterologist. Biochemist
Dear Biochemist: Thanks for the not-too-windy explanation. We're sure some of our readers will pay close attention.
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