To keep ex off the road, get help from doctor, DMV

Dear Annie: My ex-husband, the father of our three children, just had his third major car accident because of his diabetes. When he checked his blood sugar in the morning, it was quite high, so he took a fast-acting insulin tablet. That made his sugar drop too low, and later, he went into a diabetic coma while driving his sports car. He totaled the car, but fortunately, he was not seriously hurt.
My ex has had minor mishaps in the past because he has a difficult time regulating his blood sugar. Usually, if he feels a drop, he will pull over to the side of the road, but he doesn't always get there in time. Although he has never hurt another person, I fear he will cause a major accident and perhaps kill someone.
His doctor reported this to our state Department of Motor Vehicles, and his license was invalidated. However, my ex also has a driver's license in a neighboring state. Do DMVs communicate with each other? What happens if my ex moves to another state so he can drive? Very Concerned
Dear Concerned: The federal government maintains a National Driver Register that lists drivers whose licenses have been suspended or revoked. However, since your ex-husband already has a second license, there would be no reason for the DMV to check the register. You might call the DMV in your neighboring state and ask if there is anything you can do about this, and possibly enlist the help of your ex's doctor -- not only to report him, but so the doctor can find out why he is having such a hard time regulating his blood sugar.
Dear Annie: My husband and I divorced seven years ago, but we both live in the same area where our children attend school. Everyone knows everyone else, either by face or name. The whole community knows we are divorced.
My ex and I share custody of the kids, although they live with me. All school papers reflect this. My problem is with sports events. The parents, typically women, completely circumvent me and give the paperwork and permission slips to the children's father. I am the one who pays the children's expenses, and sometimes forms don't get to me until the deadline has passed.
This is not the way to get cooperation from divorced parents, Annie. It is insulting, frustrating and unnecessary. I used to think these women were cold and distant because I was single. Now that I have remarried, however, that can't be the reason. Am I offended too easily? Why do I always have to be the one who makes the effort to be nice to these rude people? What do you think? Midwest Mom
Dear Midwest Mom: We don't know why these particular parents bypass you, but the reason you "make nice" is for your children. If it is possible to get these forms directly from the school, do so. Otherwise, tell each guilty party, as politely as you can, to please give all forms directly to you because you are the one who pays for the activities and your ex-husband is unreliable about forwarding them. Make it clear that when they circumvent you, they are punishing your children. We hope that will wake them up. Yes, it takes more effort on your part, but that's the way it is.
Dear Annie: In a recent column, you had a letter from a woman who found fault with men's neckties. Has she taken a good look at some of the women on TV whose dresses and jackets are a size smaller than they should be? Their outfits are so tight, the clothing wrinkles and it looks as if the buttons are ready to pop off. Also, some women wear their skirts so short and snug that they can't sit in a comfortable position. Hey, girls, leave something to the imagination. Tom in North Dakota
Dear Tom: We suspect this has less to do with the individual women and more to do with ratings, but we hope they are listening.
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