Brother's abusive relationship puts sister's safety at risk

Dear Annie: My brother began dating this girl, "Julie," about three years ago. Julie was bad news from the start. At first she dictated his entire life, and now she is physically and emotionally abusive. She actually says she has the right to hit my brother when he does something she doesn't like.
My brother's personality has completely changed during the time they've been together. In the past year, he has attacked and threatened me. I, too, have been in an abusive relationship, and I understand what happens in such circumstances. I have tried talking to my brother and my parents about it, but nothing helps.
I don't know what to do, because now I am afraid for my safety if I speak up. I want to move out of my parents' home to get away, but I do not have the money to live on my own because I am still in college. Help. Afraid
Dear Afraid: You've been a good sister to try and get your brother out of an abusive relationship, but he isn't ready to be rescued, and you can't do anything about that. However, he should not be putting you at risk. Say nothing more to him about Julie or about his changed personality, and when he visits your parents, remove yourself from the premises. You also can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE ([800] 799-7233) for more assistance.
Dear Annie: I have what I think is an unusual phobia -- a fear of driving. My entire life, I've had a premonition that I would die in a car crash. I know it probably sounds crazy and I can't explain it. There have been three separate instances when I was supposed to go in someone's car and changed my mind at the last minute. Two of those instances ended with a passenger's death, and the other time, someone was seriously hurt.
I have tried to get past this and even got my driver's permit, but that's as far as it went. I am a 40-year-old mom with two kids, and they are at an age where they will need to be driven to school, friends' homes, after-school activities, etc. I also can't keep waiting for my husband to pick up basic things like milk and bread on his way home from work.
You cannot imagine how embarrassed I am when people find out I don't drive. Seeing the expression on their faces when I explain is becoming too much to take. How do I beat this? Does hypnosis work? Pedestrian in Pennsylvania
Dear Pedestrian: Yes, hypnosis might work, but with your rather unusual (and creepy) track record, we aren't sure you would be truly committed to driving. However, you will never forgive yourself if you don't try. Contact the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (adaa.org), 8730 Georgia Ave., Suite 600, Silver Spring, MD 20910. If this still doesn't work, know that many people do not drive. They walk to the grocery store with a wheeled basket. They walk or bike with their kids to school and other activities. Instead of explaining to people that you are afraid to drive, tell them you are helping the environment and keeping your family healthy.
Dear Annie: You recently told a reader there is no federal assistance program to get people out of debt. That may be true, but there is a federal assistance program for student loans. If you work as a teacher in a Title I school for at least five years, you may be able to get anywhere from $5,000 to $17,500 of your student loans forgiven.
There are other programs for public servants, such as nurses, and those who work in nonprofit organizations. For all the details about repaying loans, please see studentaid.ed.gov or call (800) 4-FED-AID ([800] 433-3243). Teacher in Texas
Dear Teacher: Thank you for providing this information. While not everyone will be able to take advantage of these programs, they certainly are worth looking into.
Creators Syndicate
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